Hard as it is for me to believe, Grizz turned one recently. So naturally, The Mrs. and I had a party for her.

Now, there's something you need to know about The Mrs. I can't think of a delicate way to say this, so I'll just come right out and say it: The Mrs. is crazy. Maybe not totally nuts, but when it comes to things like, oh I don't know, throwing a party for her year old daughter, she's beyond help. You see, The Mrs. is a graphic designer. That means that she sees the world through the eyes of someone who can not only identify like 30 diferent shades of blue, but can tell you how much yellow each shade contains. (And by the way, she has informed me, with a chuckle, that there are waaaaay more than 30 shades of blue. See what I mean?)

So how did this affliction manifest itself in Grizz's party? At first, The Mrs. wanted to do a monkey-themed party because Grizz is a total monkey, climbing on anything she can find. But, The Mrs. informed me, not just a regular monkey theme. No, she wanted to do, and here I'm quoting, "a sophisticated monkey theme." I smiled and said I thought it was a great idea. Of course, I was thinking, "She's crazier than I realized." Fortunately, it didn't take long for The Mrs. to come to terms with the fact that any attempt to make a monkey seem sophisticated only makes the monkey look sillier. So instead, The Mrs. landed on the idea of a sort of tea party-esque theme with little sandwiches, refreshments, and treats. And that's where the crazy really kicked in.

The natural first step was for The Mrs. to pick a color, in this case a blue that has been something of a signature color for Grizz going way back to her birth announcements. Oh, and her room is painted that color, too. And a lot of the accessories in her room are also that color. It's a color that Paper Source refers to as "pool." Pool. At least they didn't call it "Avalon Mist" or "Sapphire Cloud" or some other totally meaningless name that seems to be a staple at paint companies. Is there some college degree you have to get to be the guy who looks at a color and then opens the dictionary to two random pages and picks two words to make a name? 

OK, so the color selected, The Mrs. the proceeded to find as many different types of candy in that color as possible. And you know what? There are a hell of a lot more pool-colored candies out there than I would have guessed. She got M&Ms, salt water taffy, candy-coated chocolate mints, jelly beans, rock candy on a stick, and packs of Blackjack gum (for the wrapper). And where might one put all the pool-colored candy? Why in the milk glass receptacles that The Mrs. has been amassing for years now.

   This is totally normal, right?

By the way, her milk glass collection would be one piece larger, but I accidentally broke one back when we lived in NYC. I felt terrible about it at the time, but can you imagine the havoc an extra container would have caused if The Mrs. hadn't been able to come up with another candy this color? So basically by breaking something of hers years ago, I might have saved her life, or at least what is left of her sanity. You're welcome!

Now the non-afflicted might stop with the candy. But not The Mrs. No, because that would be amateur hour. And if nothing else, The Mrs. is playing in the big leagues of crazy when it comes to stuff like this. So we have the candy, now on to the confections! First up, petits fours! As The Mrs. has since admitted, under no circumstances should anyone who is not a professional baker try to make these freaking things at home. They are a huge pain in the ass because after you assemble the tiny cake (three layers of pound cake with lemon curd and frosting in between) you then have to drizzle on the fondant. While drizzling scalding hot liquid sugar over tiny little cakes all while trying not to drop the tiny little cakes into the pot of scaling hot liquid sugar might sound like fun, it isn't. I beg you to just take my word on this. They were damn tasty, though. 

OMG! Even the fondant matches! 

Wait. Where are you going? You didn't think we were done, did you? What are you, new? The half-nuts might be done, but don't forget that we are on the trail blazed by The Mrs. So, onward confectionary sodiers. Next up: cake balls! I had never heard of cake balls before The Mrs. made then, but they vaulted into the top 5 desserts I've ever had. In fact, I'll bet that you won't even need to taste one to put them in your top five because they are: cake, mashed up with frosting, rolled into balls, dipped in white chocolate, sprinkled with sugar, served on a stick for your eating convenience. Take a moment and think about that. Of course, for The Mrs. that recipe for deliciousness was not enough. Really the only reasonable (by which I mean unreasonable) thing to do was to make the cake blue! And to use blue sanding sugar! Like I said, though, delish. 

Little blue balls of goodness. Wait, that didn't come out right...    

"It has to end there," you must be thinking. Or maybe, "I hope it ends there because I can't read about any more craziness or deliciousness." Almost. But since you can't really put a candle in a petit four or a cake ball, and since The Mrs. (okay, okay, and me) wanted Grizz to have pictures to show her therapist in 20 years, The Mrs. made a tiny cake for Grizz. And if you haven't guessed that blue sanding sugar was involved, you are really not getting this at all.

 

Craziness aside, I have to say that it was the classiest first birthday party I've ever atended. And if nothing else, at least planning it kept The Mrs. off the streets.

*This might be the Pantone formula for Grizz's signature blue. Or it might not. Honestly, they mostly look the same to me.

Despite what many of you may believe, I've been blogging a lot lately. A whole lot. I'm talking hundreds of posts. All you have to do if you want to read them is get inside my head. Seriously, I find myself thinking about stuff I'd like to write about all the time. Then, I don't do it. Oh, I'm online plenty. I've got free time, some anyway. I could get the job done, but I choose not to.
And yet yesterday I'm reminded of the power of the internet. Xav had a friend over yesterday who asked whether I owned the MCG. "Umm, no, not me. I like it though, go all the time. Why do you ask?" "Because when you search it you see a picture of Xav and Mar." Sure enough, the kid was right. WTF -- I DO own the MCG. And even though I can't call myself a blogger anymore, it's clear the power of the blog lives on.
Doc and I were talking a while back about my lack of written flow. She commented that she thought the reason I don't post anymore is because I don't need it. Interesting. She knows I'm a blabbering sort and figures that back when I was getting into this mess I needed an outlet to express myself. I am more comfortable with this whole SAHD deal and thus do have less to talk about on the whole anxiety front. The Frasier in her may have been onto something. I didn't want to write a diary blog about the daily antics/cuteness of my kids (though I admit to travelling down that road on occasion). The struggle with personal identity, missing work -- all of that is, for the most part, gone (emphasis on "for the most part). But I'm not sure I should wax so poetic about it all. Rather, I see myself as rather pathetic. I like blogs. Read them all the time. And I like stay-at-home fatherhood. Two-and-a-half years and counting. But deep down I know the real reason why I haven't blogged as much is likely more to do with pure laziness than it the fact I have little to say. Those who know me know best -- I ALWAYS have something to say.
No promises, now. I may disappear out of cyberspace and back into real space, to be heard from but rarely. I don't pretend to think y'all miss me. But I do miss blogging. Unfortunately, it typically rests in the mid 20s of a to-do list that I rarely get past ten on.

Kim and Annalee are in Rhode Island for nine days, and I have been more forlorn than is politically correct. On the bright side, Annalee had more to say on the phone with her old man today than usual. Below are some of the things that I can remember her saying, as close to word for word as I can recall. For reference: Papadoopa is her maternal grandfather; Krissy is her aunt; Caleb is Annalee's "twin" cousin, born 6 weeks before she was, and Caitlin is also her cousin and is 18 months old. From here on in, it's Annalee speaking:

1. The building show is on in Rhode Island.
2. For breakfast I had noodle soup.
3. Is it nighttime in Texas?
4. Papadoopa is not here. He's playing cards on a trip.
5. Papadoopa said I could open presents on Valentine's Day, after breakfast.
6. The presents are downstairs in the basement.
7. Yesterday, I told Krissy not to let Caitlin look at the presents.
8. The snow is melting, but tomorrow we're going to get new snow.
9. The old snow is melting, but the new snow is coming.
10. There are icicles outside.
11. I can see one through the window if I stand on tippy toes.
12. I was very angry, grrrr, when Caleb wouldn't come over yesterday.
13. Krissy said to ask Mom if I can sleep at Caleb's house one night.
14. Would that be OK?
15. The trees don't have leaves here.
16. If you want to look at the presents, you have to sneak up.
17. I love you, too.The truth about being a dad.

This is my last post on the old Blogger framework.

I've switched over to WordPress.

If you are reading this on Google Reader or one of the other feed readers out there, then you MUST change your link to my new feed, which is:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/AFamilyRunsThroughIt

I don't want to lose you! So, please click on the above link, subscribe to the new feed, and then delete the old one. All of my posts will now come through the feedburner feed.

And then come on over to A Family Runs Through It and check out the new look. Leave a comment letting me know you're still on board. Thanks!

I spent the better part of this weekend wrestling with a blog change.

Blogger recently announced that they were ending FTP support for self-hosted blogs. Since that's the category I fall under, I thought this would be a good opportunity to switch over to WordPress for all my blogging needs.

I also thought it would be easy. It was anything but.

Oh sure, it was relatively painless setting up a new WordPress blog. They even have a handy little button to import all of your Blogger posts and comments over to WordPress. Of course, it didn't work for me and I had to do a lot of digging to figure out a little coding.

At one point I managed to successfully convert six years worth of posts. An hour later, I had somehow crashed the entire blog with one code change which I then could not undo.

So I redid the blog from scratch.

After that, I struggled with how to slide the new blog right over top my old URL. Hours and hours of reading coder websites later, I somehow typed in the correct code in the correct files and it worked.

So, why are you not seeing that new page right now?

Because I am well and truly stuck on one thing. How to send my new WordPress posts to my old atom.xml and rss.xml feed subscribers. There are over 150 of you reading my blog through Google Reader on those feeds and I don't want to lose you.

If anyone out there has experience with how to publish an atom.xml or an rss.xml feed from WordPress, please let me know.

As we explored the Universal Studios backlot, my son was losing his patience with me.

He already wasn't feel very well, and my constant, "Stand here! This will make a great picture" was becoming annoying, I have to admit.

But he had absolutely no problem running over to this fountain and telling me to take his picture after the tour guide explained that the Cuzco scene from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull had been filmed in this very square.

As parents, it seems like not a day goes by when we don't get some sense of dread or disappointment. Thankfully, these feelings are usually minor. We get over them quickly, or at least with very little pain and suffering.

Here are my Top Five Sinking Feelings (that don't involved death, destruction, or body parts):

1. The most common one occurs while sitting on the toilet, usually after you've concluded your business, when you look over to see that there is no toilet paper on the roll. How many times do we have to tell our kids to replace the paper after they've used it up?

2. Standing in the grocery store checkout line, you've just unloaded a heaping cart full of perishables, the cashier is halfway through your items, and you realize you left your wallet at home.

3. It's lunchtime and your hungry kids are very happy because you're fixing macaroni and cheese. As the pasta softens in the boiling water, you reach into the fridge to find that someone used up all the milk at breakfast.

4. It's been a long day, you're dead tired, the kids went to bed on time, and your bed is looking mighty comfy. You lay your weary head down on the ultra-soft pillow and you just know that this will be the best night of sleep ever. And then, in the distance, you hear a soft sound, barely recognizable at first. There it is again, a choke followed by a growl, and then the unmistakable splashing sound of vomit being spewed about the bed and carpet.

5. Your toddler walks up to you with the biggest smile on his face, along with blue permanent marker on his nose, arms, and fingers. He wants you to come to his room to see his cool new artwork.

You have any "sinking feelings" to add to the list?

My son gave me the day off today.

He knew I was way behind on housework and various other projects I have going.

Well, yes, he knew that. But he really just wanted the day off for himself.

So he worked extra hard on Monday, doubling up some of his lessons and researching like a madman for his paper on How Humans Will Live In Space.

Today we get the day off.

Doh! I forgot. I have another homeschooler.

Okay, so my son gets the day off, while I get to teach my daughter.

Of course, she's in third grade. She can afford a day off from times tables, pronouns, and Greek myths.

I don't know. Maybe we'll all get the day off on Tuesday.

I'll decide what to do when my alarm goes off in a few hours.

What do you think will happen?

Ever since he was a toddler and we took him to see the Berenstain Bears "LIVE AND IN PERSON!" at Barnes and Noble, my son has held any and all costumed characters in great disdain.

He doesn't hate them. He's just disgusted by them.

Maybe because he realized from an early age that they weren't the real characters, but just some sweaty teenagers earning minimum wage underneath all that cloth and foam.

We have hundreds of pictures of the family with characters like Snoopy, Garfield, Mickey Mouse, Homer Simpson, and the Wicked Witch of the West. And in almost every photo, my son is either missing or frowning miserably.

That kind of "my dad made me do this and now I'm going to ruin the picture" frown.

Actually, on our recent trip to Disneyland, he didn't frown so much. Instead, he gave a defiant stare into the camera every time we stopped to pose with a character.

The closest he's ever come to a smile was in California Adventure when Stitch bounded toward us, already in a mischievous mood.

All I had to do was whisper in his ear, "My son used to like you, but now he thinks he's too old."

That did it.

Stitch followed my son around the square for a good couple of minutes, trying to get a rise out of him, and eventually settling for a faint flicker of a grin.

After all these years, it was a real breakthrough!

The next time we go to Disneyland, I think I'll take the family for pictures with Snow White, Ariel, and Cinderella. After all, my son will be a teenager by then, and I doubt he'll have any trouble smiling for those characters.

Here's one for you grandparents!

Quirk Books sent me a copy of their new book, The Grandparents Handbook, a beautifully designed guide to games, activities, and all-around fun for grandmas and grandpas to share with their grandkids.

I've seen quite a few of these kinds of books, and this is by far the most interesting to thumb through. Many of the sections, like "Top Ten Greatest Snacks of All Time" and "A Guide To Camping In The Great Indoors" are useful even for a veteran parent like me.

But most of the book is specifically geared toward grandparents who might be a little rusty in dealing with children. Especially today's kids, who have different expectations than the kids of 30 or 40 years ago.

There's an entire 50-page section of the book solely devoted to refresher courses, from baby-proofing your house to how to deal with quarreling siblings. Beyond that, though, the emphasis here is on having a good time and building a positive, memorable relationship with your young grandchildren.

Like I said, it's a beautiful book, with whimsical illustrations and bright, bold text. The Grandparents Handbook was written by Elizabeth LaBan, with plenty of advice from her own children's grandparents. They did a wonderful job of putting together what is obviously a labor of love.

I have a copy to give away to one of my readers. If you'd like to have it, just leave a comment on this post telling me so. Don't forget to leave a way to reach you via email or website.

I'll pick a winner this weekend.

My Wordless Wednesdays were never wordless, so I'm going to join the other blog tradition of Photo Friday.

Now here's something you really don't want to see as you're reaching into a kitchen cabinet for an old box of Stovetop Stuffing.



Luckily, this black widow wasn't in our kitchen. It was in a jar at Knott's Berry Farm, in California, and it was all I could do to not drown that nasty little creature in the nearest pickle barrel.

Ick. I hate black widows.

Both kids started piano lessons today.

The past few days have seen me worrying if we would get our money's worth out of this expensive undertaking.

Very expensive.

Like, the equivalent of a monthly car payment.

I was wondering if either of my kids would take to the piano in a way that would quell the pain in my checkbook.

My goal is not to make concert pianists out of them. Rather, I want them to have a musical skill that gives a certain amount of satisfaction and confidence.

It's one more piece of my diabolical parenting plan to create well-rounded adults.

But first they had to begin the lessons, which they did this afternoon.

I'm happy to say there is hope. Each kid listened intently to the teacher, followed directions, and even made some semi-pleasing sounds come out of the piano.

Daily practice of 15 minutes will be a part of our lesson plans from now on.

I hear music in our future.

He had a year to prepare, but he didn't.

Because, while my son has more than a passing interest in geography, he's not passionate enough about it to sit down and intensely study the subject.

He'd pick up information from reading books, magazines, and websites. Occasionally I'd find him casually perusing a map.

But I didn't lock him in a closet, threatening to take away his Wii games until he'd memorized every capital city of the world.

I left it up to him.

When the regional Geography Bee was held last week, he did his best.

And he blew away the competition.

Out of ten kids in the contest, my son answered 9 of 12 questions correctly. The next closest student only answered 5 of 12.

Now, before you congratulate him on being the Geography Bee Champion of 2010, let me just tell you one thing.

He came in second place.

But, how can this be?

How can a kid answer four more questions than anyone else and end up losing?

It's because of a little thing called Rounds.

Unlike the Spelling Bee, the Geography Bee features different rounds, after which all of the students start anew. No points carry over to the next round.

In the first round of his Bee, my son answered 7 of 7 questions correctly. The next best contestant only answered 3 of 7 right.

The crowd was definitely impressed with his performance. There was much buzzing and murmuring.

In Round Two, more of the same. My son was 2 for 2. An 8th grade girl was 1 for 2. None of the other students could answer a question, so they were eliminated, and we were left with the Final Two.

The Championship Round was now upon us. My son, pitching a Perfect Game, against the girl who didn't seem to know her geography very well.

And that's when the wheels fell off.

In this Best of Three round, they both missed the first two questions.

It came down to that last question. I was sure my son would know it. But his lack of preparation made it difficult for him to recall place names and border areas.

In other words, his ability to make an educated guess was severely hampered.

And that's exactly why he lost. The girl didn't know the answer to that third question either, but she made a better guess and came up with it.

So, my son learned a few lessons that day. First and foremost, if he wants to win the Geography Bee, he's going to have to do a little studying over the next twelve months. Hard work goes a long way toward ensuring you receive the rewards you seek.

But he also learned that sometimes life has rules we don't much like but still have to play by. You just have to make the best of the situation. Given the proper preparation and focus, I don't think it matters what obstacles are in your path. Most of the time you will succeed.

It's also said that success is the result of learning from failure. So, in a way, I'm glad that my son lost the Geography Bee. He came to me the next day and said he's going to put in more study time because he really wants to win in 2011.

Last week's failure might just result in next year's success!

Oh, I know what you're all wondering...

"What were the last three questions in the Championship Round?!?!"

Here they are, in order:

1. Gorky Park is in which European capital city?

2. After the United States and France, what country produces the most nuclear power?

3. What Mediterranean country sits at the end of the Balkan Peninsula and is the leading producer of cotton in Europe?

Do you know the answers without Googling them?

Kids will love this funny new video from John Hadfield...

My 8-year-old daughter has taken to writing poetry. Here's one she's particularly proud of:

The Burp

What a beautiful sound, a burp
It comes out of your mouth with a quaint little "Urp!"

The sound slides so smoothly off of your tongue,
With the breath flying away from its now empty lung.

"For the joy of it," I would declare when I blew,
Everyone would agree with a loud, "Yessiroo!"

And walking away I knew they were still glad,
I could hear them a-laughing at the joke they just had.

That divine sound still rings in my head
Even when I go to bed.

I lick my lips in delight
And keep burping through the night.

Nice at-home dad tune  by Garrison Keillor. He shared it on his epic radio show a few days ago.   enjoy..

 

 

 

I'm the only living house dad in Eau Claire
Men who care for children — we are rare
It may be common in San Francisco or San Luis Obispo
But not there — in Eau Claire.   more..

comic update- June 19, 2009

comic update- March 30, 2009

comic update- March 23, 2009

comic update- February 23, 2009