Let me start with a little background.

2 nights ago, after a year or so of much decreased sex and other intimicay, my wife told me that she just doesnt want to have sex that often. This coming from a woman that had said things like "I think we should have sex every night" "Can you believe how miserable they are?. They only have sex once a week."

In the same conversation we talked about how: She never comes by my office on her days off. Yet, I always go by her office with lunch or whatever on my days off. She never plans dates. I always have to. She doesnt plan get aways, thats my job. These were not accusations that were made. They were points that were agreed upon by both of us. Her response was pretty much: "Thats how i roll".

Well I came to work the next day (yesterday) quite dejected and upset about the conversation. I searched on-line for other men having the same issues and I found this site. I am not a stay at home dad. I hope that is ok. I read story after story about men whos wives turn sex off at some point in the marriage. I read how women are happy to only do their "duty" every now and then (I say it like that because it seems like a chore to them). Once a week, or month, or year in some cases, or longer. I decided that I would not live like that. If I had to be single for the second time in my life so that i could not feel like crap in my relationship then so be it. Thank you athomedad!

So with my new found confidence I went home to my lovely wife and got ready to go to date night. She was abnormally sweet that day. She was late and kept apologizing to me. That was nice of her. We went on our date. We drank sangria and ate italian. She was still being sweet. We stopped at another bar on the way home. I shared with her the research that i had done online and my findings (about women who dont want to have sex after they get married). Before I got a chance to conclude with....."but I dont want to live like that" she started beaming with happiness. "See" she said. "I'm not the only one" "It's normal to not want to have sex". She saw it as carte blanche to never have sex. Shit!.

So we went home and went to bed. I was very pissed off. I rolled up on my side of the bed, fuming. She rolled over and tried to cuddle. "Cuddling good enough for me" she has said in the past. I told her for the first time in our history, in 6 years of dating and 4 years of marriage, to leave me alone and sleep on her side of the bed. She was shocked! She she was angry at first. She wanted to talk. I said very matter of factly. "This is not what I signed up for" "I love you but if staying with you means living like this I can be single again". After what seemed like hours, it was probably 10 minutes, she rolled up on me crying and said she wanted to make it work. That is how it worked this time. Tomorrow, who knows? We are going to go to counseling and maybe things will work out. 

I guess the point is: If you come to the place where something has to change. Don't do anything crazy. Dont cheat. Don't just leave. (these are things that occurred to me). Communicate your issues and maybe things can get better. For TODAY, things are better with my wife and I.