There are forums here too (click on "discussions" at the top of any page) and lots of other stuff...with hundreds of people.

Is the last thing we need, especially a site in the same format as this new site has, it has nothing new to offer plus our site has an established membership.
It’s kind of reinventing the wheel, plus it doesn’t even have a top level domain name so here I will stay. But to each his own time will tell who is the daddy site of dads...

My Site, http://www.milehidad.com/ and my Blog, http://www.milehighdad.net/
Make Babies, Not War!
I Wanna Know How Forever Feels...

I posted a thank you for the invitation and invited them over here.... :-)

http://sahd.melknight.net/node/1/topic/67/msg196/topicseen#new

So I can talk about all of your low testosterone levels and lack of masculinity behind your backs! ;P

I'm Not a Slacker

Hey there,

I'm the "Bored Dad Trying to Turn a Buck" who hosts the website that was advertised by the OP. OP being a good friend of mine I'll try to make this slap on the wrist light, but most are well aware of my opinion on advertising on sites that already maintain their own forums.

As for trying to turn a buck, I think the education I am currently undergoing that will gain me a electricians certificate is a far better investment of my time then to get into a pissing match with other SAHD sites. As it stands the site is currently an entire loss for me, and that does not look like it is going to change any time soon. As you are probably well aware even if I put advertisements up (as you have, bored buck makers) I would hardly net enough to even cover server costs with my current user base. The site was originally started by a working mother for her husband on a free forum hosting site, and I offered my hosting as a gesture to them so that regular backups could be maintained in the event of a failure on that server. My lack of a top level domain name has little to do with me not wishing to invest in something, and more to do with the last minute nature of how the site started.

It's true that a SAHD site already exists (in fact there are several), but it is also true that Google, Yahoo, Lycos, and others exist, that AIM, GTalk, YM, and others exist, that Gmail, Hotmail, and others exist. To not start another site because something similar exists is beyond logic IMHO. The lack of more original content has more to do with my user base and my time available than does your amazing ability to upstage me.

In closing, evidently you are not all things to all people, since they did not feel you were where they wanted to be, so I think it's quite unfair that you attack another site because you feel you should be the one and only option. As for the advertising, I didn't know that it had taken place and rest assured, I do not support such actions.

Sincerely,
distatica.

Thank you for the response JPhillip. While I mostly agree with you that having one central information area can be a benefit, I also think that it's a bit of an Utopian ideal. One central resource also assumes that resource provides everything needed by everyone, if it doesn't then failing to have alternatives leaves the wants and needs of others behind.

It could be argued then that the OP by those standards has actually performed a service to SAHD's since by providing a link to another forum here, he has brought two different resources together making this one "goto" place for SAHD's. Interestingly enough, this is what I have stated in the post made by Tim E on our forums. By fighting this, this forum has effectively tried to restrain others from having access to more then their own information, and is hardly acting as a goto place in the interests of knowledge and education, but have demonstrated a self serving ideal.

The undermining that you speak of can be a hindrance in a world where visiting one place and finding resources to another requires a drive across town, but in a world where you are always one click away from another resource, that hardly seems true. Even in the real world you will find that visiting a homeless shelter will yield you plenty of information on the various soup kitchens, job banks, computers, and other resources (including shelters) available around that city. In fact, only a company with it's own profit in mind would not allow advertising of other similar resources, non-profits quite often act as a resource pointing clients in the direction of many other organizations that might satisfy their needs.

To wrap this up, for what it's worth this forum was cited as one of the reasons that the people involved with the original forums that I am now hosting WANTED a different resource. That is to say, obviously they did not feel comfortable with this one. I can't imagine why since I rather like this site, but for what it's worth, statements like those made by randyfielding and paddyrat regarding attacking smaller sites in an effort to gather more users, would be quickly knocked down on our forums if I have anything to say about it. Not only is it not funny, it's also terrible to think that someone who laughs at the idea of creating a large overage bill for a small time SAHD who has very little money and is donating what little he has, is also someone who is raising the future leaders of this world. Way to make us look bad.

You're missing the point, dude. You don't walk into a bar and say, "Hey, if anybody wants to get a drink, there's a bar down the street." Really? No shit? Cause I was just sitting here having a pint waiting for someone to drag me off my comfortable stool so that I can come to your slapped together hole-in-the-wall.

You have every right to exist, but don't you think it's bad form to plug your forum on this one's threads?

You've got to think of threads and forums as active conversations. You don't walk into someone's conversation, and say, "If anyone wants to have a conversation I'm having one over there about the same stuff you are talking about here."

I'm sure you don't need more analogies.

And if anyone has an issue with this forum, which is a perfectly fine forum that isn't policed and censored, they can go to dadstayshome.com and have all kinds of conversations over there. Those are two perfectly good forums, and two perfectly good reasons for your forum to be non-relevant.

ticktock:

It should be obvious at this point, and if it's not let me once again make this clear, I DO NOT support advertising on other forums. I am mostly cool with people posting links to other sites on my site, including the case of linking to this thread by Tim E, providing it is a site that provides free information and does not focus on selling a product. However I do not expect that view to belong to anyone else, and am quite well aware of the written and unwritten rules around the Internet forbidding spam.

It seems to me that you feel I am not perceptive enough to understand just what a thread on a forum actually is, that you would need to explain it to me using an analogy because I don't quite get it. Where you get such a silly idea from I am not sure.

Now, since I agree that advertising shouldn't be done (without permission), just like the others have stated earlier. And since I have done nothing of the sort. But I have engaged in a discussion or minor debate with another member regarding competition among the public service sector, which has little if anything to do with advertising on another persons forum, since advertisements between non-profit groups are not done without permission. Exactly *what* point am I missing?

And to randyfielding, I took yours and paddyrat's comments together, and I don't think I should have done so. Perhaps paddyrat also didn't mean it to be taken that way, but I found it to be hinting at exactly that, maliciously "persuading" smaller SAHD sites to close up shop and join here. In taking the two comments together I think I completely misread yours, probably not helping matters was the fact that I was in a bit of a defensive mode. It is quite obvious to me now that I have read over the comments again that your comment didn't need to be taken like that. Please accept my apologies, you seem like a kind and fair person.

P.S. I left for my parents 1100KM away in the middle of the bush for two weeks, returned to have no Internet for two weeks and just today got the Internet turned back on, today was the very first I had heard anything about this.

Yo! Guys! Step away from the computer, quit being a bunch of knobs, and go to the park...... :-)

Distatica has been decent enough to come over here and explain the situation and make nice. Remember it wasn't him (the site owner) who made the original post - it was just some loose cannon like you or I. He's apologized for that and let us know that it's not how he works. That's pretty standup I think.

As far as the issue of athomedad.org being the exclusive site - come on..... it's a big world out there and people can build what ever the hell sites they want to.

And truly, if ahd.org wants to be #1 and the go-to place they simply have to be the "best" and dads will come. Have the best content, the best format, the best forums, the best people. If someone comes along and reads this petty little bullshit argument going on, IMHO, its not going to be a positive reflection of the site. Hell, it makes me want to distance myself from here.....

Tim

Can we not have a conversation that includes mocking and teasing without someone interpreting it as a need for a peace treaty and an intervention? Let's get real.

If you want to distance yourself from the horrors of snarkiness, ignore the thread. We haven't had a jerky thread on these forums for a long time, and now when people have a bit of attitude we revert back to Red Alert status. Personally, I enjoy a forum where people have the freedom and honesty to call people on their bullshit.

Speaking of calling people on their bullshit, I have no idea why I assumed Distatica wasn't getting the point. He clearly stated that he was against anyone plugging another forum. It was late, and I was annoyed about other things. Sorry. And he wasn't a jerk about it, but he could have been and I would have deserved it. All things are equal in the world of mockery.

Hey guys. If anyone is interested here is a site that I just found. I think there are some people on it now but they probably would like more. If you're interested, check it out! http://www.bullshit.com

Being a brand new member of this site (I've been searching the net for the "best" stay-at-home dad community), I find this sort of ranting a bit disappointing as a first read of this site. I am a forum administrator for a modestly large online community and think this sort of thread should probably be deleted entirely. I think it is a bit distasteful to promote a "competing" website. I don't know who is a moderator here but they should probably clean house. I think I'll look for another thread that spreads more good karma around than this one.

You attacking my onion rings? :-P

My Site, http://www.milehidad.com/ and my Blog, http://www.milehighdad.net/
Make Babies, Not War!
I Wanna Know How Forever Feels...

I am a parent, but not to you guys. I really, really, don't like deleting threads to clean up from your messes.

However, I will if that's what people want. Anyone opposed, speak up. If I don't hear otherwise, I'll delete it within a day or two.

If nothing else, could you guys post on some of the other threads so that this one isn't at the top of the list :-)

Thanks,

Webmaster Mike

When we're being snarky is about the only time this site is interesting. We all pull together to be as sarcastic and rude as possible, like a group of guys should be!

I'm Not a Slacker