(note: I voted for Kerry in 2004, but the man can be a bit of a windbag...since I haven't yet heard his actual announcement, here's what I imagine it will sound like...)
John Kerry (in a stilted, stentorian tone): "Today I stand before you to endorse Barack Obama. A tall man. A skinny man. A black man. But I tell you in no uncertain terms that I've never been more certain in my certaintude that his message of hope and change is the kind of hopeful, changing-type message that this country needs in this time of needful hopelessness, and verily I say unto you that today, black is white, and in white, I mean the color of a good guy's hat in a Western movie, for white is the color of goodness and Senator Obama looks very good in white, and will look even better in the White House.
"I also want to tell you about my brother-in-arms, Donny, from my third tour of Viet Nam. Donny was a good bowler, and a good man. He was one of us. He was a man who loved the outdoors... and bowling, and as a surfer he explored the beaches of Southern California, from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo and... up to... Pismo. He died, like so many young men of his generation, he died before his time. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would Donny. Donny, who loved bowling. And so, Theodore Donald Karabotsos, in accordance with what we think your dying wishes might well have been, we commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince."
The Dude: "God damn you Kerry! You f***in' asshole! Everything's a f***in' travesty with you, man! And what was all that s*** about Vietnam? What the F***, has anything got to do with Vietnam? What the f*** are you talking about?"
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Joined: 2007-11-27
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