She hasn't actually blogged this one, just published it in the freakin' Nashville Scene whatever webjournal. So I don't see any comments link or anything. E-mailing her or otherwise corresponding with her would be useless, since it isn't really HER mind that needs changing, but those of her audience. She just thinks she's funny; and she is funny sometimes; but she thinks that being a humourist takes her off the hook when it comes to defending what attitude she has toward the sahds in her area.

Thoughts about fatherhood, philosophy, fencing, and hockey abound at http://shawn-burns.livejournal.com/

She got you guys: Zing with a capital "Z." The world of the Internet is not as private as you might think. Do you have a right to be pissed? Of course you do. She called a bunch of guys here by name and she called out the website by URL. Ouch!

But.

As much as it stings. I think it was fair game and the guys that commented to her were opening themselves up for abuse. She is crafty and she made you pay. Ouch, still stings.

Please note: I am not saying that you guys shouldn't be mad. I am just saying she is a worthy opponent and she got the best of you this time around.

Darn it.

You got pwned bitChes. First you invite her here and then cry about her coming here and writing about it - what did you think she was going to do?

I'm a member or a few mom's groups and when we are at playgroup it's for the kids, but when they get on the website they could make any man blush with what they discuss.

In other words, I don't understand what point she is trying to make.

I'm Not a Slacker

... but I think I like this lady.

She chose the exact posts and comments she needed to make her point.

I actually liked the first SAHD blog entry she did. There was a lot of truth in it.

The issue is complex. We all know that. We all also know that anything new is viewed with suspicion. I view “bloggers” with suspicion, I write one as do many of you cats, but a blog by Eric Alterman or George F Will is a different animal then a “blogger.”

However, no matter your stance on “new media” and it’s validity I personally (now this is my view only) believe it isn’t ethical to generate the result you are looking for when you are claiming to be objective, and claim to be doing research.

Rosalynd Weisman did actual research for “Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads,” and her views on the “modern man” and how men are viewed as fathers by the educational establishments are probably a better resource then a board for dads to talk sports, diaper rash remedies, and vent a little.

Personally, I know I post here willingly and expose some of my personal life here, but, I do so in good faith and with the understanding that that those posts are for Dads in the same boat as I am, not a place for cynics or haters to come and point and laugh. But that is just me.

Be Seeing You.

-And then I will put this to bed

1. A big sorry to Mike for stoking the fire and bringing a negative light to The Oasis
2. To my daughter for spewing crap like I did ( when it is all said and done she is the reason I am here )

I am not in any way going to apologize to "Blog Mom".
If she puts as energy into parenting as she does blogging she must be a very successful and fulfilled SAHM.

Chef
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you post can and will be used against you in stupid persons blog.
You have the right to have an opinion during posting .
If you can not decide on an opinion. One will be written for you.

-That I support you guys and I think this will go on for a long time
Chef Kevin

You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you post can and will be used against you in stupid persons blog.
You have the right to have an opinion during posting .
If you can not decide on an opinion. One will be written for you.

I very much doubt that many people read her 'column'. If you look at some of the stuff she's written before, it is pretty conservative and vacant. That means that the few people who do read it were probably not so well disposed to sahds in the first place. Her reaction to this reinforces my point. If she were an experienced journalist, she wouldn't be so desperately self promoting and she definitely wouldn't be so touchy about a few guys disagreeing with her. Only a small market freelancer would feel the need to write a column about it. In order to get a real audience, you have more interesting things to write about than what a few guys think of one of your columns.

Surely we who know the glaring obvious difference between playgroups and poker nights have more interesting things to talk about than her.

I have tried to get worked up over both "articles" and haven't passed DEFCON 1. It seems that the dads that are most upset seem to be the newer dads. I guess that since I've been at this almost nine years that I've read much more inflammatory things. Remember that the "leper" comment was made by a fellow AHD, not her. Try starting up a new local group and you'll find that the comment isn't far off. Yes, "leper" is out of line, but 85% of AHD are that way. Hogan Hilling, longtime AHD, calls it "afraid to come out of the kitchen". I've met so many dads that I know are AHD's but instist they are "consultants" and wouldn't be interested in a group for stay at home dads. There was even a guy on this site from Omaha bitching about how he was isolated, felt alone...so I invited him to our group and he hasn't been heard from since. Experienced uncomfortable conversations when in a mothers group...check....moms and husbands uncomfortable about playdates...check....been excluded from mom's groups...check. I don't let it effect me because I've learned not to take it personally. My life can only be made miserable by me...not a blogger from Nashville...not an idiot husband who thinks I'm after his wife...not the moms who move to the other side of playground when our dads group shows up....not by the dads who bitch and moan about how lonely they are but never show up to playgroups or come have a beer once a month. Problems with the way it was written? a few....but sometimes the truth hurts.

Incredible first post Jason. My thoughts exactly, and I didn't have to type a single word of it.

I can see where some of you are coming from and I too was not particularly thrilled with some of her assessments, but she has no effect on what I do with my life or how I spend my time with my son. I try to be the best father I can, I try to be as respectful and caring to others as I would want to be treated, and I try to get out and socialize with anyone who'll have us. If someone has a problem with any of those, I could care less. I don't want to spend time with them or communicate with them anyways. The ones who get me and understand me will still be around.

Randy
Cincinnati, OH
SAHD to Ryder (23 months)

These past several posts are spot on. She writes for a minor webpage that I have never heard of and will probably never visit again. In a week, I won't remember the gal's name. I am not being bitter, I just don't think she is as good of a writer as she thinks of herself. Fine. I am sure she is a legend in her own mind, and that's great for her.

She calls herself a humorist, and that is fine as well, although a bit off. I would call her more of a mediocre satirist. The main difference here is that a humorist will look for ways to make readers laugh with them. A satirist looks for ways to condescendingly laugh at them. Bill Cosby would be a humorist. Dennis Miller would be a satirist. While we might enjoy both of them to a degree, which one would we prefer to tell jokes about us? And again, her satire in no way reaches the witty levels of Dennis Miller. Her web-opinion shows mediocre writing ability. Don't let it bother us.

That being said, her article was not as offensive to me as, say Stephen Colbert's "SAHD Expose" from a year or so ago. I felt that was much more misrepresentative, even though it was done completely in jest. But, it had a massively bigger audience of generally less-educated-about-SAHDs people who now have a wrong notion about us. Oh well. I don't care what they think either.

This gal's original column did have some valid points, although not well-played out. But then she lost credibility, in her ensuing column, when she felt the need to defend her position instead of just shrugging it off like a big girl and moving on: "I wrote condescendingly about a collective group and now they are upset! Woe is me! I am such a victim!"

Incidentally, writing about SAHDs (or just about the few whom she's met and clumping us all together... if I did that with moms, I would be "sexist". If I did that with an ethnic type, I would be "racist". Hmmm. I guess that since she is a journalist, she is above that.)

In the long run, this gal really doesn't matter.

So let's take a sow's ear and make a silk purse of it. Let's move on without this Nashville sweetheart. I'll start. Does anyone else feel the need to start a thread about amusing "leper" stories? MileHiDad did some a while back and got lambasted, even though I thought his stories were pretty good. Anyone else want to try? Any other good Dad-thread ideas coming from this debacle? Let's move forward.

Her thinking is nothing less than backward and, I dare say, prejudicial.

When my children were younger I took them to a playgroup sponsored by our church. The mothers there were very supportive of our decision to have Dad stay home with the kids. In their eyes, it didn't matter which parent stayed, only that one did stay. Our church is very family oriented.

Lindsey is a throwback to era of narrow minded thinking. Judgmental and prejudicial in their opinion of which parent is better suited to be the primary caregiver, while totally ignoring the blessing of being able to actually have one parent stay home.

Her behavior since the original piece only serves to reinforce that assessment as well as brand her as behaving like a spoiled child, ill equipped to defend honestly her point of view, choosing instead to engage in the sleazy tactic of not only cherry picking certain comments, but using only small sections of those comments to poorly defend her rather ignorant mindset.

Sloppy journalism at best, vicious attack at worst and I am stunned that she has yet to realize the damage she could cause by writing these atrocious articles.

"Any publicity is good publicity." We just finished throwing up a quick/free OfficeLive website at our new domain. Hopefully Lindsay's article will help us grow the Middle Tennessee Stay at Home Dad's group.

NashDads.com

Actually, we're an old group with a new domain and website. :)