Dadness Mortified

BackpackingDad
BackpackingDad's picture
Posts: 253
Joined: 2007-10-21
Dad Points: 285

I took Erin to the park the other day to eat some sand. She one-upped me by chipmunking a leaf and gagging on it later.

It was her first solo playdate, with an adorable little girl, T. By default it was also my first solo playdate with T's mom E. The girls have played lots of times, and E is one of Emily's mom friends who I hijacked back in October when I started going to the playgroup. E and I have hung out frequently, but always in a group of people. She has quickly become a good friend of mine as well. That today was our first solo playdate occurred to me while we were having the following conversation, which I'll paraphrase because I don't remember it exactly:

E: "Have you ever seen 'The Little Children'? Kate Winslet? She's a stay-at-home mom. Anyway, there are these moms who go to a park, and there's this guy who is a stay-at-home dad, and the moms all call him The Prom King."

Me: "Why do they call him 'The Prom King'?"

E: "Because he's really good-looking and they get all swoon-y. So, R (E's husband) and I were watching it the other night, and I turned to him and said, "Don't worry, we don't say that about Shawn"."

Me (after a pause): "Oh. Well, I was never the Prom King."

Even though my immediate response could well have been "Ouch!", it wasn't, because I know her comment to R was about how the moms in the real group differ from the moms in the movie (not swooning, bored idiots, but awesome, professional women) rather than how I look (which is damned good all the time, thank you very much). And I never was the Prom King. But now I was conscious of being the dad in the group, and being out on a solo playdate now, and Hey, how am I perceived in this group of moms? But, that only preyed on my mind for the next hour, because I was about to be mortified.

The girls played for an hour, and we packed up to leave. Erin was in her backpack, and E was wheeling T over to their car in the stroller while Erin and I went to go in the opposite direction. And then, as I was turning to go E said something like "Oh wait [something unintelligible] kiss."

My next thoughts were very quick: (Are we at the kiss on the cheek stage in our relationship? I think I remember giving her a hug last time I saw her; I don't remember a kiss on the cheek. Who have I ever kissed on the cheek? Is E in that category now? Well, we've hung out a lot and I think we're pretty good friends. Ok, why not?)

I leaned in on the right (my right) and gave her a hug and a kiss on her left cheek. And then I hear in my left ear, something like: "I can't quite reach her."

I froze for a quarter-second eternity (drawing out the kiss on the cheek a little longer than the peck I had intended) and then I unfroze long enough to lower the backpack a little over my left shoulder so that E could kiss Erin . But now that I was lowering the backpack I became aware that I was still kind of half-hugging E; I had begun to un-hug her, but paused in mid-un-hug to bring Erin down to her level. So in this half-un-hug state my hands were drawing away from her back but were now more on her waist.

It was like we were dancing. At the Prom.

Oh. Nice. Jackass.

I finally pulled out of the hug (and the dancing cheek-to-cheek) and turned to leave for real this time, when E called out, waving: "Tell Emily that I love her and miss her!"

Not as much as I did, right then.

Someone just smack me.

This moment of embarrassing SAHD park hijinks brought to you by a 3 mile hike with 30 lbs on my back that morning and too much fencing the night before.




ticktock
ticktock's picture
Posts: 696
Joined: 2006-11-06
Dad Points: 1190
OMG!!! You really need to

OMG!!!

You really need to see Little Children to know how funny that story is.



JonMcP
JonMcP's picture
Posts: 296
Joined: 2007-01-03
Dad Points: 453
Oh man!

That's classic! I've now made up a rule not to kiss any of my mom friends anywhere. Thanks for the inspiration!



AMR
AMR's picture
Posts: 99
Joined: 2007-11-06
Dad Points: 122
About as awkward . . .

of a moment as I can imagine. You have introduced the term "mid-un-hug" to my vocabulary.

I haven't seen the movie but I read the book. Not sure there's a likeable character throughout except for maybe Slutty Kay.

That was a joke!



JPhillip
JPhillip's picture
Posts: 653
Joined: 2006-11-17
Dad Points: 935
Playing with Fire.

Playing with fire. Flirting with Disaster.

Look, you both got what you asked for. I can criticize because I have been in a similar flirtatious game of tag with a really good mom friend. I will not take the bait though. Please don't you either. It is a big game, but believe it or not, her intent is rather innocent. All she wants is the flirt. Once you take the bait, the game is over. If you enjoy it, just keep it at the flirtation level, and everything will be ok.



jimpmc
jimpmc's picture
Posts: 114
Joined: 2008-02-26
Dad Points: 159
When my wife came home.

Even though nothing happened and my wife knew a new friend and his mom would be over for lunch I still felt like I had my hand in the jar when she came home and walked through the door.

I also like "mid-un-hug"



BackpackingDad
BackpackingDad's picture
Posts: 253
Joined: 2007-10-21
Dad Points: 285
So I've been told

When I sent E a link to the blog post this originates in (because I thought it was damned funny) she replied back in her e-mail that what made it even funnier is that the two characters have a torrid affair and that she had left that part out of her story quite deliberately in order to head off awkwardness from the get-go.

Nice job, E. You didn't reckon with the Backpacking Dad, our hero of left-footed inappropriateness!

Thoughts about fatherhood, philosophy, fencing, and hockey abound at http://shawn-burns.livejournal.com/



BackpackingDad
BackpackingDad's picture
Posts: 253
Joined: 2007-10-21
Dad Points: 285
I'm a flirty flirt flirt flirt

And at best this was a pre-flirt moment. I was self-conscious and not wanting to give the wrong impression, but also slightly flaky and easily distracted; she confesses that she has no filter (although she managed to filter out the affair in her story). We've agreed (without any arm-twisting on either of our parts, really) that we are friends and in love with our spouses and not even considering an affair and there is no hidden agenda in our behaviors. It was an innocent slip that was made extremely awkward by the context and the prior conversation.

It's good that I was able to write it down and share it with my wife and E; it prevented it from looming in anyone's mind as an INCIDENT that required REFLECTION, and ATTENTION IN PRIVATE. Making it public defuses the attraction we might have for this little moment; it is not a sore tooth that gives public pain and private pleasure. Privacy would breed clandestine thoughts, which are much too intimate and which might lead to flirting down the road. And then E and I would have some clandestine, private pleasurable moment and that is too close for a friendship to bear.

Thanks for the warning and the sympathy, though. I'm glad to know that other dads encounter the awkward, possibly flirtatious feelings in themselves and the moms they hang out with.

Thoughts about fatherhood, philosophy, fencing, and hockey abound at http://shawn-burns.livejournal.com/



JPhillip
JPhillip's picture
Posts: 653
Joined: 2006-11-17
Dad Points: 935
Dental pleasures?

Since when does a sore tooth give someone private pleasure?

It's nice that you could share the "awkward," "pre-flirt" moment with everyone. Make sure you share the "post-flirt" moments with us as well.

Peace.



BackpackingDad
BackpackingDad's picture
Posts: 253
Joined: 2007-10-21
Dad Points: 285
Should have read

"loose tooth"

Thoughts about fatherhood, philosophy, fencing, and hockey abound at http://shawn-burns.livejournal.com/



JPhillip
JPhillip's picture
Posts: 653
Joined: 2006-11-17
Dad Points: 935
Oh... ok.

A loose tooth that provides private pleasure. Now I get it. Because, you are looking forward to getting some nookey from the tooth fairy?

"Honest honey, they are not your best friend's ear rings: The tooth fairy left them."



BackpackingDad
BackpackingDad's picture
Posts: 253
Joined: 2007-10-21
Dad Points: 285
Nookey from the tooth fairy...

...is the name of my new band. :}

Thoughts about fatherhood, philosophy, fencing, and hockey abound at http://shawn-burns.livejournal.com/



mbieweng
Posts: 349
Joined: 2006-10-31
Dad Points: 1045
Quote:It's good that I was

Quote:
It's good that I was able to write it down and share it with my wife

And what did she say about it?



BackpackingDad
BackpackingDad's picture
Posts: 253
Joined: 2007-10-21
Dad Points: 285
She laughed in my face.

She knows I'm a big dork and that it was innocent. She then told E that she has permission to kiss me all she wants. On the cheek. ;}

Thoughts about fatherhood, philosophy, fencing, and hockey abound at http://shawn-burns.livejournal.com/



JPhillip
JPhillip's picture
Posts: 653
Joined: 2006-11-17
Dad Points: 935
Kissing on the cheek.

Permission to kiss you on the cheek all she wants? You are a lucky man.



Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.