You're sitting all alone in your house watching your newborn baby. You haven't had an intelligent coversation in months. Your only stimulant has been a cup of coffee and the smell of Pledge. You find you keep speed-dialing your wife at work even though you still have nothing to say to her.
You need other Dad friends, but you live in a place without regular playgroups. What should you do? First, start a customizable mini-forum local playgroup here at this site. Plan playgroups and events... even though nobody is coming because you need to have a structure in place. You'll also want to write a press release to the local media.
Assuming the press release doesn't work... you may want to go hunting for Dad friends. Like any good hunter, you need to follow some simple guidelines that will keep you from getting shot... or arrested. Try these simple tips next time you are trying to meet other SAHDs....
1. You may want to shower and shave. Remember that other Dads don't want their children around unkempt mountain men any more than you do. Try using a quality after shave and remember to pluck your nose hairs. The odor of the aftershave draws other Dads toward you, and the nose hair thing makes them want to stay. In addition, it might be smart to dress your child in bright clothing so as to draw the eye of potential little friends.
2. Be careful what you wear. Whatever you do, don't wear a tie. Other Dads will think you're on your lunch break or something. It's better not to wear khakis with a polo shirt because then you'll look like a Dad who is taking the day off. Be sure to have cargo pockets and sandals. You want to look as casual as possible without looking lazy.
3. Your gear says a lot about you. A father who wears a backpack is letting you know that he does this sort of thing on a daily basis. A father who wears a carrier is letting you know that he is a fruitcake who tries too hard. Don't be the fruitcake. Though you may have the urge to stuff diapers and wipes in your cargo pockets, remember that a Jansport backpack will really hit home with other dads that you are the real deal. Use a stroller only when necessary. Remember that real SAHDs often carry their kids unless they are walking more than a mile or two.
4. Pick an appropriate place to meet the prospective Dad friends. Many Dads have the urge to escape their lonely homes and go some place fun to distract themselves from the isolation of being a home-parent. It's best to check zoos, museums, bouncy playgrounds, and parks. You won't have success finding them at shopping stores or at the grocery. Dads are smart and avoid those places at all cost. Besides, Dads develop strategies for shopping at the grocery at odd hours when nobody would think to go.
5. Be careful how you approach a potential SAHD. NEVER USE A CUSTOMIZED SAHD BUSINESS CARD because you will frighten away the cool Dads and freak out everyone else. Don't scare them by making fast movements or talking too excitedly. When starting a conversation, make it passive and friendly. A nice way to begin is by asking how old his child is... and what is her name. Don't hesitate too long because Dads are skittish and tend to run away rather than interact; many have forgotten how to engage people socially. You don't want to seem gay (unless you are gay), so don't be overly friendly. Make sure that you mention your wife as soon as possible, then ask about his wife before you inquire if he stays home with the baby. Don't be discouraged if you've found a worker who has the day off, but also don't linger too long. They feel inferior and defensive when confronted with a full-time father.
Follow these simple rules, and you'll be on your way to SAHD playgroups and Dad's Night Outs. I wish you the best of luck.
hey thanks
that was funny as shit and right on the mark!
Do I taste like fruit?
"A father who wears a carrier is letting you know that he is a fruitcake who tries too hard. Don't be the fruitcake."
I just ordered the Peanut Shell Vanilla Bean sling. Would you consider that to be too fruity? Of course I will wear it anyway. But yes I think perhaps I will feel a little ripe, perhaps with a touch of citruss. Your observations about men interacting do seem silly to even consider at first. but of course you do make some valid points about how men deal with meeting people. Funny stuff man.
HEHE
1. I am that dad who uses the Buss. cards...lol
2. I use my old Army Ruck sack that i bought in 88. the three compartments in the front are the best for the fast grab items...
3. Madras shorts ( cargo ) and a polo tee are a must. ( docksiders or Keens.. never socks )
Good stuff there....funny
Chef Kev
a b c f g h i j klmnop thv wx 123
JPhillip said it, therefor it is, Chef= C=Caring, H=Helpful, E=Excellent, F=Fubar
No worries...
I only put the carrier/sling part in because I use one myself, and when I brought it up here everyone talked about the emasculating qualities of slings. I personally prefer my sling, but sometimes the whole "fruity" self-image starts nagging at me. My true opinion is that you should just be yourself and wear what you want.
You know the best comedy is when you make fun of yourself. The piece was an excercise in humility.
Also, no sweat about the business cards. I've used 'em too when I was in Chicago, but the strange looks I got made me self-conscious about them. That's another one that stems from my own insecurity.
..........................................
http://www.altparenting.com
Meeting places
Home Depot is always a good choice for meeting up. Power tools and riding mowers for you and the kiddies!
Always Home and Cool
www.blogonkevin.blogspot.com
Stop juvenile myositis through www.curejm.org!
Good stuff ticktock
Keep it up. Lately I've been skipping over a lot of posts, but when I see you as the author, I dive right in. Very funny. I had the safari commentator voice in my head while reading it. Then some other voices, but that was for something else.
North Carolina Dad's Group
http://lindsaybeans.blogspot.com
http://oneredsquirrelinstatesville.blogspot.com
And here I thought the backpack line was for me
The funniest part of this post was the footwear part.
I was at the park today with my daughter. No one else was around, so we had the swings all to ourselves. Then a dad shows up with his little girl; she looked a little over 2.
I pegged him immediately as a SAHD. Why? Because he was wearing jeans....with Crocs.....
I'm not saying that every SAHD wears Crocs when he's out with his kid. I'm saying that ONLY a SAHD would wear Crocs while out with his kid.
I never confirmed his SAHD-ness, because I neglected the second part of Tick Tock's conversation advice: I did ask how old his daughter was. I did mention my wife early enough, nor ask him about his. He vanished over to the other jungle gym as soon as his 2 year old was sufficiently terrified by my overly-friendly 13-month old who kept trying to pet her while saying "baby, baby, baby" repeatedly.
Dang it. I could have made a SAHD friend today. Should have checked here first. That's a rule I need to follow more often.
http://backpackingdad.blogspot.com
#5
Good stuff, Colin! #5 made me laugh out loud. Maybe you should do a live reading of this at the convention.
Your new avatar freaks me out, though.
Jim
Allow me to retort...
Easy there, BPD. I'm a Dad, though not a SAHD, and I wear Crocs when I'm out with my kid. I guess I'm a wannabe-SAHD.
Enjoy the Day!
Tony Santone
:}
Heh.
Everybody generalizes from one example. At least I do.
http://backpackingdad.blogspot.com
Wife as PR Manager
My wife is the one who advertises my "profession" every time she meets a mom or a couple with kids.
She is my Public Relation Manager, and she gets more easy with others, so thru her I have found more S@HDs or at least some of wannabe s@hd, and more people are "discovering" that there are S@HD everywhere.
======================
Congregatio pro erudio et auxilium
Information Technology User X
Itux
I'm new to the club
Hey Guys,
I just wanted to introduce myself. I just joined the group. I enjoyed reading ticktocks "How to meet a SAHD." Very funny. I've been a SAHD for almost two years now. My wife is a school teacher. I'm a professional magician. So, because I normally work out of the house anyway, when we had our daughter Rachel, we already decided that I would be the one to take care of her during the day.
It hasn't been easy though. But, I wouldn't change a thing. My daughter is great, and keeps every day VERY interesting.
Look forward to chatting and hopefully meeting some of you.
Jeff
Shower?
This is very useful. I was skipping the shower, but I now see the importance of it. I bet the Old Spice isn't enough to cover my stink. This also may explain why all the swings open up when we (I) arrive at the park.
Great stuff Ticktock! Very funny!
Hello!
Welcome Jeff (aka: MagicDad), good to have you here with us. How about sharing some of the tricks of the trade? Can you teach us all how to make our kids disappear when they are driving us nuts? LOL! Again, welcome to the group.
Check out my ramblings on life at http://www.sahdguy.blogspot.com/
New to the community
Hey guys I am new to the community with my wife due on the 23rd of this month so i know i have alot to learn..I will be the one at home with our son and look forward to interacting with the group.
We're new here
SAHD since May, he's 5 mo old now.
He was 2 months early, and 3lbs. My wife and I were taken by surprise that he couldn't go into daycare, (every day we find out how much we don't know).
One of us had to stay at home, and since my M-F job was worthless, I got the job.
This is the most wonderful experience I could have. He's already growing up too fast.
I Hear That NicoandTony
Our "baby" turned 11 today! It seems like just yesterday that we were bringing him home from the hospital for the first time and where scared to death since we had no clue what we were doing. We still don't know what we are doing but at least we aren't as scared. :P
Check out my ramblings on life at http://www.sahdguy.blogspot.com/
You left out a word in your title....
It should have read "How to Meet an Experienced S@HD. If you want to know what the newbies look like, just consider #'s 1 - 3 as a "before" tense and make no adjustments. Anyone remember those days? Bloodshot eyes, three days worth of beard, and who knows how long since you showered, blended with the smell of diaper rash cream, formula or baby food, baby powder and that toast you burnt while changing those diapers. "Smells like....victory."
AMEN to all of these very appropriate tips! Great job ticktock! Happy hunting.--Alby
Making it look difficult. Living the dream.
Funny
The SAHD is a frightened deer bewildered by snazzy business cards!
Willing the Broncos to 8-Willing the Broncos to 8- Willing the Broncos to 8!!
Willing the Broncos to
Willing the Broncos to 8-Willing the Broncos to 8- Willing the Broncos to 8!!