"What's that say?" asked my 8-year-old girl, dressed in her latest Hannah Montana ensemble, as she pointed at the checkout counter magazine rack.

I had spotted it about 10 seconds earlier. I nearly flipped the issue over, but the former bag boy in me held back out of courtesy for my former union brothers and sisters.

"What's what say?"

"That … the one with Miley's picture on it."

Her index finger nearly touched the blaring yellow words.

"MILEY'S VIRGINITY VOW: HOW SERIOUS IS SHE?"

Breathe, man, breathe! Stay calm. Be thankful, for once, she's still testing just shy of the "proficient" level in reading.

I have no issue with supermarket tabloids. I actually made a few pesos tipping off the National Enquirer, my rag of choice, back in my days of scouring the celebrity-strewn streets and backcountry of Greenwich, Conn.

I have no problems with the pictures she posed for in Vanity Fair. The controversy is total media hype, although the shot with her lounging in Dad's lap is pretty creepy and that is all Billy Ray working the wiggy factor there. He should know better in his Achy-Breaky Heart.

I have no love for the squeaky clean pap of the Disney people. Give me some Bugs Bunny wit and violence any day. I feel watching Looney Tunes as a child (as well as reruns of "Gilligan's Island" and "Get Smart") prepared me well for my run in newspaper journalism, corporate communications and parenthood.

So, when Miley starts pulling a Britney/Lindsay/Jamie Lynn, parading around town drunk, pantyless and/or pregnant (or hanging with Paris Hilton), then I say it is open season. But her virginity vow? Sweet nibblets!

First, someone should have told the girl to say it is no one's business and shut up. She doesn't push sex on her show, in her concerts or songs. Trust me, I've witnessed them all. I regularly frighten my wife with the amount of Disney Radio lyrics I have acquired through minivan satellite radio osmosis.

Second, the media should just leave it alone. I know the tabs are in the entertainment and gossip business, but is picking on a 15-year-old who otherwise seems on the level really in everyone's best interest? If anything, pick on Disney and her handlers for overexposing and overmarketing the kid.

Meanwhile, back at the checkout:

"Well," I said, "it says Miley made a commitment to do something and they want to know whether she is really going to keep it."

"Oh."

Pause.

"Dad, can I get those little cinnamony round mints that Mom and I like?"

"Not a problem."

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Follow more of my work-at-home parenting adventures at Always Home and Uncool. Cheers!