I'm having some problems potty training my daughter who is nearly 3 years old. She has gone in the potty several times but nothing consistent. Any suggestions guys?
Potty Training
The only thing that worked for me...
...were Pez and M&Ms. My Mom visited for a weekend to help potty train and the first thing she did was give my daughter a handful of M&Ms when she went in the potty. Over the next few weeks, we reduced the M&Ms until she was getting just one. Then we switched to gummy vitamins (two a day are allowed). Then we broke her off completely.
#2 took a little longer because it scared her. She didn't do that until she was ready, and I don't believe there was anything that I could've done. Don't spank. It isn't worth it, and it makes you feel awful later.
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Stickers Too
Sounds like she has the concept down, just needs reinforcement. We totally used M&Ms. We also used stickers, so she could put them on her shirt and count how many times she went that day. Stickers also are a great substitute, when they are only going a few drops just to get the M&M.
Our daughter asked for M&M for a few months. We finally started to tell her they were almost gone, and then stopped giving them to her. She never asks now, but we do give her an occasional dumdum sucker to bribe her to go potty before we leave on a long trip.
Potty Power
My daughter really responded to the Potty Power video (http://www.amazon.com/Potty-Power-Boys-Girls/dp/B0002B55DO). She sang the songs and talked about it as she was going through the learning process. It wasn't a miracle solution, but when used in combination with rewards (I think we used jelly beans) it really helped her learn to use the toilet.
Just remember
Just remember, no matter what you or your wife's parents may say, you can't force her to be potty trained if she's not ready. You can't believe how many times I heard from the inlaws about how my wife was potty trained by 18mths, and how her friends grandchildren are all potty trained, and how my daughter should be trained by now. Blah, blah, blah. When my daughter was ready, we encouraged her, did the stickers, m&m's, etc, and it all worked great. My daughter was stubborn, so the more we mentioned it and tried to get her potty trained, the more she resisted. Finally, we quit, and she told us when she was ready. How many kids do you see at thier high school graduation in diapers? So what's it really matter if she's 2, 3 or 4 when she learns, she'll get it, don't stress out.
I don't recommend ...
... My Love's idea which was forcing Thing 2 to sit on the potty while she stood over him for an hour at a time because she wanted him trained before Thanksgiving break was over. Period. Let's say after that lost weekend, it took another 6 more months.
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Thanks Guys
Thanks guys, because of the responses to Mattynewguy, I know that I am still on the right path in regards to potty training. I do let my twins sit on the potty when they bring it up and let them sit there a little while however, have not been a forceful dad on it and do my best to encourage them. May have to invest in some stickers and more Mike & Ikes since they love them.
Rant on:
Rant on:
I guess I'm a little old school but here's my views.
Stop being afraid of it, potty trainings not that big a deal. The more you get worked up about it the worse you're making it for yourself and your child. I don't buy into "the child will let you know when they are ready" - c'mon, they're really great at making decisions at that age? "You know dad, I think today's is the day......" Who is running the house anyways? I'm fundamentally against using bribery as a parenting tool - its gross. A child never gets tired of praise and recognition. You get some action in the pot - party like there's no tomorrow, phone the grandparents, have a parade around the house, make up a potty dance......or you could just give them a jelly bean and be done with it. Be creative ! And quit blaming the kids - failures and accidents are your fault not theirs. Your fault for not getting them to the potty, your fault for not recognizing the telltale the tip pinch or far away stare, your fault for getting distracted and giving them the opportunity to sneak one out. Anyways I'm old and grumpy this morning, and this rant isn't necessarily directed in entirety to this thread - its also at so many similar others I've read in the last while... :-)
:Rant off
My recipe:
1)devote *EVERY MINUTE* of your time to be glued to your child - *NO DISTRACTIONS* - they can't be left alone for a second.
2)interrupt the hell out of their day to get them to try and use the pot - every 10-15 mins. "Quick, lets go pee and then we'll get back to the DVD, lego, game, etc" Constantly be on them, they soon learn the faster they do the bathroom thing, the faster they get back to the fun they are missing. Got to pee? Let's go pee! Hurry lets go pee so we don't miss your show, etc
3)Ditch the pullups. Let them get wet, really wet, really uncomfortable - cotton longjohns are good. Take your time getting them changed, let the pee cool off, make it a long drawn out ordeal. Hunt around a bit for some new clothes, find a wash cloth, rinse the clothes, get them to the laundry, etc. Move like a snail. Don't make it a scolding or punishing scenario - it just take 15 minutes to clean up from an accident, that's the way it is. "Oh no, now we missed the rest of Barney - how bout we pee in the pot next time and we wont miss as much?" Mine quickly recognized the difference between 15 seconds and 15 minutes.
4)After meals are prime time for movements. Good time for pot sitting till you clean up the kitchen - give them something to read :-)
5)Because you're glued to them *EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY* you can catch all the signs of imminent disaster. Run them to the pot grunting or dribbling pee the whole way... Accidents are your fault not theirs, you weren't paying close enough attention.
Again:
2)interrupt the hell out of their day to get them to try and use the pot - every 10-15 mins at first. "Quick, lets go pee and then we'll get back to the DVD, lego, game, etc" Constantly be on them, they soon learn the faster they do the bathroom thing, the faster they get back to the fun they are missing. Got to pee? Let's go pee! Hurry lets go pee so we don't miss your show, etc
6)as I mentioned above - praise, praise, praise, party, dance, laugh, clap, blow horns, call mom at work, etc.
7)even after they are "trained" you still have to actively manage them - remind them to go pee, hey go pee before we.... , you need to poop? - how about you go try a bit, etc Their parts don't have a lot of storage - for a while by the time things are full enough to break into their conscious thought that they have to go, it's too late for them to get to the bathroom. Keep on top of reminding them to go.
That's the recipe that worked for us very well - only took a couple of days and ours were very "young" by todays standards.
Cdn Tim
Dang
Wow, you sound like my inlaws. So you said your kids were "young" by todays standards. Is it a contest to see who gets potty trained the earliest? I guess I don't see the point of forcing a kid to be potty trained early and when you are ready except to get bragging rights. You know the type, bragging about how MY child was potty trained a long time ago, oh, you mean yours isn't potty trained yet? (you have to say it with a snobby tone and your nose up the in air) lol. I will say this though, I'd rather make potty training a fun, positive experience and do it because the child is excited to be a big girl and doesn't want to be a baby anymore and wear diapers, verses making them pee themselves and make them sit in it and be miserable. Just my way, but I'd rather the child respect me because they want to, not because if they don't I will make them sit in thier own pee.
Double dang...
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Is it a contest to see who gets potty trained the earliest?
LOL, yes my life is so pathetic that I live to brag about how soon my kids were potty trained ..... ;-) Dude, you totally called me on it......
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I guess I don't see the point of forcing a kid to be potty trained early and when you are ready except to get bragging rights
- comfort of the child
- freedom for the child & family
- high cost of diapers
- creating hazardous waste for landfills
- time and energy
- not dealing with crappy diapers
And "forcing" ? - pretty strong word. You could probably consider most parenting to be "forcing" then... And "early" - what is early anyways - a number picked out of the air by the diaper industry? In who's interest is it to keep kids in diapers for as long as they can?
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I'd rather make potty training a fun, positive experience
Ours was, unless you consider praise, encouragement, pride, laughter, and attention to be negative experiences.
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making them pee themselves and make them sit in it and be miserable
Ummm, where did you get that from? My point was that they need to be out of pullups so that when they do have an accident, they know it - peeing in your pants isn't a pleasant feeling. And it can't instantly be made to go away, it takes a bit of time to fix things up. A few minutes compared to the hours that a kid will sit in a pamper full of 5 pounds of piss....
Tim
I guess
I guess its been proven by all the comments that either method will work, and get the same results, it's just what you feel most comfortable with.
But, I'd reconsider the point Tim made about sitting the child on the pot and give them something to read. Unless you have multiple bathrooms, don't encourage them to read, otherwise you will never get your turn in there!! We all know the bathroom is about the only place that WE get to be alone and catch-up on our reading!! The last thing I want is to have to wait for my daughter to finish reading Cat In The Hat when I just got the new craftsman tool catalog!!
Is it True?
For Us
For us, potty training was really easy with out middle (a girl). She just decided one day when she was 2 that she didn't want to wear diapers anymore and that was the end of that...totally potty trained, including at night! Oh if they could only all be that easy. Our 2 boys? Not so easy. We were sure the oldest would be going to kindergarten in diapers. He flat refused to potty train. Nothing we did would get him to use the toilet...he just didn't want to. The youngest was the same. For both...it was day care that finally did the trick. The oldest was teased by a 2 year old that he still wore 'baby diapers' and that was the end of that. Trained. The youngest absolutely LOVES his provider at the YMCA center he goes to (I work 2 days a week). His provider is a man and said to the youngest the 2nd week he was there, "I would like you to wear big boy underwear like I do instead of diapers, but that means you can't go potty in your pants anymore." We had been saying that for about a year and a half and he didn't care. This guys says it and that was it...trained. My advice is to just relax and let it happen. We stressed out way to much with the oldest and didn't enjoy him as much as we should have because of it. They all eventually become trained.
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I'm with Tim
I'm with Tim for the most part. Read his follow up post if the first one upsets you. His ideas aren't a substitute for patience, they're the actions that you take while you're having patience.
For more reading, there's another thread on this topic here:
http://www.athomedad.org/node/2335
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We don't wait around until they're "ready" to clean their rooms. We don't wait until they're "ready" to eat vegetables. We don't wait until they're "ready" to not hit. We don't wait until they're "ready" to share. We guide them towards what they should do on all of these things. Hopefully, we do it in ways that aren't emotionally scarring, filled with unreasonable expectations, uncaring, or otherwise problematic. There's nothing about potty training that makes it any different than these other topics.So, be kind, don't get angry, and have reasonable expectations...but don't have zero expecations. I think that applies to a lot of things, potty training included.
Potty Training ...
My daughter and I are on day three (using the Potty Training in One Week book, by Gina Ford) and it has been an success so far. We haven't left the house the entire time and have spent full concentration on the potty training. So I highly recommend this book to use. They also give you tips and tricks for the stubborn child and the bed wetting and all that jazz.
Joined: 2008-05-30
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