Advice on Child Throwing Food

randyfielding
randyfielding's picture
Posts: 317
Joined: 2007-02-05
Dad Points: 354

Hey dads. I wanted to ask a few general questions to the group here about something that is driving me nuts: my child throwing food. My son is 13 months old, and I have been dealing with this for the last 2-3 months.

I have read a lot of different things about how to go about trying to break this trend, but nothing seems right to me. Also, everything that I have been doing doesn't seem to work. So, I need some help.

First, is my son too young to yet understand that I am not happy with this?

Second, if you dealt with this, what kind of discipline did you use?

Third, if you dealt with this, how long did it take for your disciplinary actions to really sink in?

Fourth, does meal time ever get any better? ;-) Just kidding...I know it does...but it sure seems like a longgggggg way off to me right now.

I really need some help with this, because meal times with my son are the only times of the day I really dread. And since the time for preparation, time actually eating, and time cleaning up for three meals add up to such a significant amount of time each day (~3-4 hours), I am really not enjoying the routine any more. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.




ticktock
ticktock's picture
Posts: 703
Joined: 2006-11-06
Dad Points: 1202
My advice is to take the

My advice is to take the food away every time he throws it, and once he is old enough to know the word "sorry" have him apologize after each offense.

If the food-throwing continues after the first couple of offenses, find a punishment that he hates (for my girl it's going to her room for a minute with the door closed- she HATES it).

Don't react emotionally, don't tell him to "stop it", don't try to reason with him. No negotiations. This is probably an attempt to win your attention.



Tim E
Tim E's picture
Posts: 119
Joined: 2006-11-13
Dad Points: 173
All kids go through the food

All kids go through the food throwing stage because, quite frankly, it's really fun. Hey, I'd do it all the time if I could.

At a year old, they are old enough to understand No! (of course understanding and obeying are two different things :-) This was our approach that worked for us. If he throws food, give a strong NO! and immediately take it away for a minute-ish. Much crying and wailing will occur - ignore him and carry on with life. Give him the food back - if it gets thrown again - repeat as above. I think we gave them 2 or 3 chances then called the meal over and got them down. Much crying and wailing will occur - ignore it. Do not feed until the next scheduled time.

One thing to remember - if he is hungry he will eat and not throw away the precious food. Watch what he's getting before meal time (snacks, bottle, drinks, etc). And watch his progression as he eats - the transition from eating to playing is fast. Once the playing and throwing starts, he's full, meals over, get him down. Anyways, that's what worked for us. Good luck.



Tim E
Tim E's picture
Posts: 119
Joined: 2006-11-13
Dad Points: 173
"sorry"

ticktock wrote:
once he is old enough to know the word "sorry" have him apologize after each offense.

I think once he is old enough to understand the concept of "sorry" he should be well past the food-throwing stage.

:-)



ticktock
ticktock's picture
Posts: 703
Joined: 2006-11-06
Dad Points: 1202
.

You're probably right about that.



randyfielding
randyfielding's picture
Posts: 317
Joined: 2007-02-05
Dad Points: 354
Thanks Guys

Not to sound unappreciative of ticktock's advice, but I think that I will definitely give Tim's method a try. It sounds very reasonable and goes with my philosophy of saving real punishments for later when he can actually understand the relationship between what he has done and the punishment. At his young age, it seems to me that he wouldn't exactly know why he was being locked in his room or whatever he would get for punishment due to his relative lack of long-term memory. I could be wrong, but I am learning as I go along!



ticktock
ticktock's picture
Posts: 703
Joined: 2006-11-06
Dad Points: 1202
3/4

I think you're right. I missed that your kid was so young.
It's hard to remember what things are like when I look back at that age, and my daughter's only a year older than yours.

I don't actually lock her in. I just put her in there for a minute or two and stay by the door. I was worried that the punishment came across worse than it actually is.



MileHiDad
MileHiDad's picture
Posts: 592
Joined: 2006-11-06
Dad Points: 1139
Stages.Oh those

Stages.
Oh those stages..
Grin and bear it the novelty of this stage will eventually wear out...
Get ready, those stages get more complex as time goes on so relish it today, for tomorrow it will be calling you a "Poopy Head" or something else you will love.
Maybe if your lucky, it'll only be drawing on the walls.
Oh, how I long for those days of only "eating rebelions".



randyfielding
randyfielding's picture
Posts: 317
Joined: 2007-02-05
Dad Points: 354
If I have a choice...

...I think I would rather be called a "Poopy Head" than have him writing all over my walls! ;-)

I find it so fascinating to wonder what my son will do next, what stage he will enter around the corner. The changes come so fast and unexpected that they really do catch you off guard, but I think that is really why this job is so exciting when you boil it down. It sure keeps you on your toes!

ticktock, the punishment didn't come off as harsh to me. I knew exactly what you meant, but the clarification will probably be helpful for some others who read the thread. Oh, by the way, I am a SAHD in Cincinnati.



Seth
Seth's picture
Posts: 34
Joined: 2006-11-08
Dad Points: 46
killing my buzz

Another "it only gets worse" seer. Oh boy.



jdkitchens
jdkitchens's picture
Posts: 1
Joined: 2007-03-17
Dad Points: 1
This is a STAGE?

My twins (Benjamin & Kaitlin) have been throwing food since they were around 1 year old. They are now 2 years 3 months old and the food throwing has not slowed down. If anything, they are becoming better at hurling their sippy cups. And should the sippy cup "accidentally" hit the cat in the head, well... BINGO, they win the giant Elmo doll and a year's supply of chocolate Teddy Grahams!!! I have this image in the back of my head where we are all sitting at the dinner table, the kids are now 15 years old and suddenly my son slings a handful of mashed potatoes at my head. I'm able to avoid the potato onslaught only to be side swiped by a pork chop via my daughter. Oh what a stage!

Julian
Signal Hill, CA



yorkcountydads
yorkcountydads's picture
Posts: 8
Joined: 2007-01-02
Dad Points: 30
Despite his age, he is not

Despite his age, he is not too young. I would try a firm "No!" and a smack on the hand. Actually I like a flick with the finger. 3-4 hours of cleanup time is way too much unless you are OCD.

randyfielding wrote:
Hey dads. I wanted to ask a few general questions to the group here about something that is driving me nuts: my child throwing food. My son is 13 months old, and I have been dealing with this for the last 2-3 months.
I have read a lot of different things about how to go about trying to break this trend, but nothing seems right to me. Also, everything that I have been doing doesn't seem to work. So, I need some help.
First, is my son too young to yet understand that I am not happy with this?
Second, if you dealt with this, what kind of discipline did you use?
Third, if you dealt with this, how long did it take for your disciplinary actions to really sink in?
Fourth, does meal time ever get any better? ;-) Just kidding...I know it does...but it sure seems like a longgggggg way off to me right now.
I really need some help with this, because meal times with my son are the only times of the day I really dread. And since the time for preparation, time actually eating, and time cleaning up for three meals add up to such a significant amount of time each day (~3-4 hours), I am really not enjoying the routine any more. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Recommend a Bank ›
"I won't lie to you, Fatherhood isn't easy like Motherhood." Homer Simpson



randyfielding
randyfielding's picture
Posts: 317
Joined: 2007-02-05
Dad Points: 354
.

yorkcountydads wrote:
3-4 hours of cleanup time is way too much unless you are OCD.

Actually, I said "...since the time for preparation, time actually eating, and time cleaning up for three meals add up to such a significant amount of time each day (~3-4 hours)..."

So, in simple math terms:

3 x (preparation + eating + cleaning up) = ~3-4 hours

Not:

3 x (cleaning up) = ~3-4 hours

On a different topic, I have been clinically diagnosed with OCD, and I am constantly treated for it, so I hope the comment you made was not meant to be taken lightly.



timada
Posts: 3
Joined: 2008-07-02
Dad Points: 3
I am sorry for bumping this

I am sorry for bumping this old thread but I have a similar problem. We went out to dinner last night and my nephew 1 1/2 yrs old, refused to eat, was cranky and kept throwing his food. Now, if we were at home, i would have suggested simply taking the food away or putting him in his room till he calmed down. but we had just started dinner at the restaurant, it was clear he was going to throw a fit. what are some good suggestions for dealing with this in a public place?

_____________________________________________________________
Ada - Kenmore Parts



Creative Dad
Creative Dad's picture
Posts: 15
Joined: 2008-07-04
Dad Points: 19
Discipline in a public place

You can deal with it basically the same way as home - except you leave the restaurant and sit in the car (or go home). Give them the choice of staying as long as they behave or leaving if they don't. This can be done without drama on your part. You and he may or may not get to eat dinner, etc. Sometimes I wouldn't give my kids a choice and I'd just remove them from the place and situation without a word. In fact I did that at church the other day.

With my daughter (4), I also had to supply an attention-getting, drill sargeant yell (in private) to get her to stop her tantrums. Nowadays I only have to ask her, "Do you want me to get mad?" and she stops :) My son (9) was much easier.



BackpackingDad
BackpackingDad's picture
Posts: 253
Joined: 2007-10-21
Dad Points: 285
Yeah.

We've pretty much had to leave restaurants before the meal arrives because of the crazy "I'm a year and a half old and I'm going to rip this tablecloth off the table and throw all the bread on the ground" kind of awesomeness that my daughter can throw out there.

You have to be prepared to leave. Disciplining in public is tough (it's tough in private, right? "No" just means "do it again, but sneaky"), so I don't know if you win that one until the kid is a bit older.

http://backpackingdad.blogspot.com



Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.