Pees in the potty... Poops in the pants...

Ironcat
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Posts: 45
Joined: 2008-01-26
Dad Points: 109

Okay, so we've been working with the potty training, and it seems to be going okay... sorta.
The boy will tell me pretty much everytime he has to go pee pee and will even wake up in the middle of the night and say he has to go pee pee so that's great...
The problem is that he only wants to poop in his pants (pull-ups, whatever). He will tell you when he has to go but bringing him to the toilet produces a fit, he says "I want to go ca ca in me pants" and proceeds to lean against a table and do just that!

I've tried the rewards, stickers, bribery, reading, letting him bring toys to play with while he does it, the whole nine yards but he really really wants to crap himself... any advice??




Murph
Posts: 7
Joined: 2008-01-21
Dad Points: 7
Ride it out

My daughter was #1 trained at the first of the year and didn't start doing the #2 on the potty until around May 1st. We kept encouraging her but one day she was just ready to do it on her own and she hasn't turned back since. It is frustrating but my only advice is just to ride it out until he is ready. She was the same way with going from a crib to a regular bed. She fought it and then one night at 4 in the morning she was screaming and wanted to get into her "big girl bed".



Mr. Dad
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Theme Underwear

Sounds like, other than the pooping, your son doesn't need pull-ups. When we were potty training our daughter pooped only once. We bought her favorite themed underwear (Little Mermaid). We put those on her, and told her to make sure she goes poopy in the potty chair, otherwise her Mermaid underwear will get "all dirty" and we will have to take them off. That did it... She never went in her underwear again.

I doubt this will work for all kids, but might be worth a try. Other than that, I wouldn't worry too much. It typically takes kids much longer to train on the poopy. A neighbor also offered a bribe for her son if he pooped in the potty for a week without going in his pants. That worked for him too (I think she bought him a toy he wanted).

If you haven't already, you may want to ask him why he doesn't want to go on the potty. Maybe he has some fear you can reassure him about. I have found with my daughter when she doesn't want to do something, she has some fear that is just her misunderstanding the process.



abrauner
Posts: 5
Joined: 2008-06-24
Dad Points: 5
Poopy pants is fine by me ..?

Remember that the kid is used to crapping in his diaper, so the transition to potty is really asking him to grow up, change, possibly before he's ready. Don't rush it.
No bribing, stickers, schedules, reading, or any of that stuff is needed -- in fact, it just accentuates how much you are worried about the way he's not transitioning, which makes everyone more nervous about the transition.
It may also be a control issue. As I have written elsewhere, we all need to control the world in some way, and toddlers can control only three things: food, waste, sleep. If the kid wants to dump in his pants, he is going to.
My top recommendation is to ignore it. It only works as his manipulation of you if you let it show. In time -- I'd guess a few weeks, maybe a month or two -- he'll just switch, since it doesn't seem to be getting a rise out of you.
Backup plan: That doesn't mean you have to clean it. Certainly not right away. Let him poop and live with it for a while -- which in toddler time probably means five minutes. Just make it a little longer than you otherwise would.
This is not punishment, it's a logical consequence. Explain it to him that way. "I don't like to clean pants, it's a lot messier. It takes me more time." You can also have him help clean it.
If he still wants to crap all over his pants, that's a small price to pay for an honest relationship.



Itux
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Joined: 2007-09-17
Dad Points: 201
Take the pants off

Maybe if you let your kid to stay naked (or at lease without pants/underwear/pull-ups) for a day or so, he can feel that he needs the potty.

Be sure to have a backup plan in case of an Accident. (extra towels, wipes and other cleaning supplies)

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Itux



SAHD-ist
Posts: 5
Joined: 2008-07-01
Dad Points: 5
worked for me

I hate changing diapers!! I know BIG surprise. So when my first kid (Elizabeth) was very young I started taking her to the potty she was a blessing and took to it like a fish to water. . . maybe that's a wierd analogy. Anyhow one thing that I tried was plastic underwear, my experience shows that kids hate the feeling of going in these. I have found that in the case of my brothers kid and my good friends kid, older kids will continue to poop in their pants because they are comfortable with it. My brothers daughter knew she could crap her pants run to mom and dad and they would quickly clean her up and slap another diaper on her and she was off and able to go play again, going potty in the potty actually took time and effort. My wife and I actually ended up being the ones to potty train my brothers kid over several weekend overnight stays. We put plastic panties on her and when she went potty in them she had to help take care of the problem, take off her own clothes, get in the shower, clean off, get new clothes back on, If there was a spill on the floor help wipe it up, before long she figured out it was simply easier to tell us when she had to go. My friends kid doesnt like the feeling of going in the potty. He is used to the feeling of the diaper so when he doesnt have a diaper he holds it and holds it until my buddies wife gives up and puts a diaper on him and then inevitably within a couple minutes he goes. so we gave her the plastic underwear because it feels different and assured her to have patience and eventually he is going to have to go! Potty training is a game of patience and febreeze. Do you have enough to outlast the kids and mistakes. I also don't buy into the very popular school of thought that its okay for kids to decide when they WANT to stop going potty in their pants. I think that as the parents we should have a good strong say in this. but HEY im not a doctor.

As a last note for people with younger kids, I found that paying attention to body language early on The red faced eyes bulging trying to poop body language is a good way to get kids used to the potty before they can get used to anything else. There is nothing wierd about holding your little one over the toilet before they are really old enough. It's a lot better than changing a 2 year olds diaper.



SAHD-ist
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Joined: 2008-07-01
Dad Points: 5
My wife's advice (who needs it!)

My wife, said you could try letting your child sit on the toilet, with the diaper, until he is used to pooping on the toilet, instead of up against the table, then one day you can remove the pants, and he can do it like a "big kid"



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