My wife wants to adopt this dog from a rescue shelter because they say the dog needs a running partner. My wife likes to run, and she thinks a dog would be good protection. I don't particularly want a dog. Anyone I know who has a dog is having problems. And yet, I'm feeling the need to make the women in my life happy by giving them a fluffy brown canine.
So, dog people - do you like having a dog? Do you have any suggestions before I get a dog?
Well, we have a yellow lab and a black lab, the yellow one just diea at age 14 and the black lab is 11, so they don't do much of anything, but the kids just love her to death. I've been considering getting a puppy, but wow, they are a lot of work. One thing I will say is I'm glad I raised them from puppies. I would be really concerned about getting a rescue dog that is older, and you don't have any idea how it was raised. I just recently realized how important raising a dog was to me when I caught my 15mth old daughter sitting by the dog food bowl, with her hands in the bowl while the dog was eating. The dog could have cared less. From a puppy, I would put my hand in the dog food bowl to teach them that its ok. The baby still will sit by the dog food bowl and get a handful of food and hand feed the dog with it. They can ride her, pull her tail, ears, anything and the dog will just walk away when she's had enough. But that's how I raised her. I would be really worried if I wouldn't have raised her from a puppy and know she's been treated well all her life.
When our twins were born, our dog pretty much got thrown to the curb. At one point he was the star of the house and now he is definitely third fiddle. The good thing is that he is happy when we do let him with the kids however, since he is almost eight, he does tire of them quickly. He does not do anything aggressive just looks to either my wife or I with eyes that say he has had enough. When they were infants, he did protect them to a degree and used to pace around the room that they were crying in. It all depends on the dog and how it reacts to having little ones around. Ideally the dog realizes and learns that the little ones are a part of his/her herd and will be happy to protect them as well. Hope this helps in some way.
Asking dog people if getting a dog is a good idea is like asking fat people if the Chinese buffet is a good idea. (I'm fat people, I have the right.) Some things to consider:
1. Can you afford it?
2. Who will really taking care of it?
3. What breed? (Seriously, protection only comes from having a large dog.)
4. Do you have the room in your home and yard for a dog?
And probably a million other things I can't think of through the haze of this head cold.
-Will
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BRING BACK THE IRRELEVANCE!!!!
My daughter is one and my high energy boxer is 3.
The baby loves her and the dog is beginning to return the affection. Hanging out with the two of them can be pretty fun. As long as your wife is committed to exercising the dog 7 days a week, it shouldn't be to much of a problem. Exercise, discipline and affection. In that order. That's what the dog whisperer says.
"We don't need a license for this or anything?"
We have gone through a few different dogs over the years. Currently have two. Should you get one? No, their high maintenance. Just like having another child. We had to give the Golden Retriever to my father-in-law because the kids were two young and the dog felt he was higher in the pack then the were (bit one). You should wait until the youngest is at least 5 years old before getting a dog. But the kids really do like them. A boy should have a dog. I also have 6 cats, You want one.
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Thanks. Still don't know if I'll be weak and give in, but that's all good info.
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I agree with chitownman and I think asking current dogowners is absolutley essential. We HAVE a dog and had him prior to kids. He was our pride and joy prior to kids, but after he was "thrown to the curb."
We still love him, but...
He runs over the kids and causes injuries because he gets excited to play. He wants to go out ALL the time (call for attention no doubt), but we are out of energy with a 17 month and 3 YO. Don't forget the dogshit in the yard that has to be picked up daily (plus the neighbors if they let their dog shit in your yard). Add on the baths weekly and the attention they want. If you are not challenged by you kids then get one.
Otherwise, I suggest a nice new stuffed animal.
GWB point's are perfect without kids, but consider the introduction of the dog with babies and kids. Our dog was introduced to our baby and he has really developed a connection with him and has become very protective of him to the point where we have to introduce him to a new dog without my son present and then bring everyone together at a later time. My neighbor had to find a new home for their dog because he could not deal with the addition of their baby and the lack of attention he received.
Santiago stats:
2 kids (4 & 2)
1 dog (9)
1 wife (none of your business)
0 cats (gracias a Dios)
Rescue dogs are unknown commodities. We got ours as a puppy and I spent A LOT of time training her. Thankfully, she's good with the kids. Lots of people we know got rid of their dog/s once kids came on the scene. One former neighbor of an adult rescue couldn't bring himself to find another home for the dog, but he didn't feel safe with his toddler in the same room with his monster of a dog (a frickin' yellow lab, btw). Best chance of success is to introduce a shelter puppy into your home, then work like crazy (aside: I'm lobbying for a 2nd dog, but the wife doesn't want to because she remembers the time commitment involved). This won't give your wife a running buddy for at least a year. If you adopt an adult dog, I'd say it's 50-50 everyone will be happy. It's probably 90-10 that you'll give the dog away within 1-2 years. There's a 100% chance you'll work (and spend money) like you've got another kid.
Buenos Suerte!
You're not gonna have the right answer till you either get a dog and it's great/horrible or you don't get a dog. Basically some dogs are good with kids, some dogs are not. Knowing the breed can help but in the end it just depends on the personality of that specific dog. We've got 1 that's great, 1 that's so-so, and 1 that was dangerous (he's no longer with us). If I could do it over again, no dogs. Too much fur that gets on the kids things. They bark and wake up the kids. The water bowl gets dumped over a lot. Dogs (even really nice dogs) can have serious food bowl issues.
With older kids, I think it's a great idea. Kids can learn an enormous amount from having a dog.
I haven't commented on much lately, but I actually know something about this topic. Both my wife and I have backgrounds in positive reinforcement dog training, and my wife was a (don't laugh) dog behaviorist for a while before going to vet school.
Anyway...my 2 cents.
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I'm a non dog person, but looking forward, if my children want a dog, first off they have to wait till they're at least 10 and 12 years old, then I'll go for it so long as the dog is outside, (backyard or the garage during winter), and the kids Promise and DO take care of it 100%, (you slack, doggie goes missing). I will not budge when it comes to keeping a dog in the house.
Sorry I can't offer any other suggestions.
Alby1 - Chicago, IL
Hey TT,
I have been called a dog before, and I would be glad to go running with her.
Alternatively, get a jogging stroller and get in shape you lazy bastard.
If she does decide to get the dog (b/c you know you don't really make the household decisions), at least you won't have to clean up the kitchen and dining room floor after every meal.
I hope you don't take offense, but I suggest you not ever get a dog. Stick with your guns on that. First, living outside and away from a dog's "pack" is something that the dog might have a hard time understanding. A hunting dog is one thing. But a family dog who doesn't get to spend time with the family is kinda wrong. And the kids will never bond with the beast if it's outside all the time. I have seen this time and time again.
Second, your kids just won't take care of the dog 100 percent of the time. They just won't. Don't set yourself up for resenting a dog simply because it's hungry.
And Matt's right. Personality is as big a deal as breed. Our first dog, when the kids were born, didn't like dropping down in the pecking order. She liked getting all the attention. After she passed, we got two more pound dogs who have been great with the kids.
JP: Can we just call you a horndog? Or are your sentiments reserved for ticktockita?
Don't get a dog that sheds (like we have), because all you do is clean.
If you have kids you don't need a dog. You already have something that wants to be fed randomly, craps or pees on the floor on occassion, whines without cause, claws at you leg when you watch "the game", pukes on the couch, doesn't listen when you speak, and sleeps until you try to nap.
Basically the only difference is most kids don't shed. So I guess I am saying "what are you thinking." Just have another kid, since it would be just as easy.
Ahhh! Rescue dogs.
Don't be guilted into taking a dog you know nothing about. Adult dogs from the pound can be strange in ways that don't show until it's too late.
Our collie/shepard cross hated black people and chased and barked at little kids of any race (even chased and knocked down a little black girl in the park after wrenching the leash from my wifes hand - kid was okay, I had to grovel at the mother's feet in forgiveness). My best friend called me and said that he wouldn't visit our house with his 2 year old daughter if the dog was there and honestly I didn't blame him. Too many stories of dogs just ripping the face off little ones out of the blue.
I think better to choose the age/gender/breed from a breeder with good references. Do your homework and don't leave it to chance.
ps. The health benefit to your wife will be great. Dogs need lots and lots of play/runs/walks or they destroy your house until they are about 9. Have fun!
I'm a dog lover so take this with the required grain of salt.
We had four dogs when my daughter when my daughter was born. One is a mutt, the other three were Siberian Huskies. We have had to put down the Sibes for various reasons and now we have just the mutt.
The biggest problem we encountered is my daughter developed allergies and is allergic to dogs. She bonded with the dogs and the dogs bonded with her. Unfortunatly so much so that one of the Sibes became aggressive and suffered seperation anxiety from me as well and ended up attacking one of the other Sibes while I was at work and he had to be put down. This was a bit traumatic for my daughter. One of the Sibes also developed cancer and he had to be put down last year. My daughter was not happy with that either.
My son loves dogs, but he also doesn't care so much about them since he has been around them since he was born ( He is about to turn 3 ).
Getting a dog will introduce alot of new variables into your life, and can be a good thing. It can also be a bad thing. There are alot of uknown variables including how the dog will interact with the family. If the dog doesn't bond with the entire family it could be a bad thing or an annoyance. The dog could also become agressive or depressed. The activity level of the dog will also be something to look at. Some dogs will require alot of activity, others will only require mild activity to keep them happy.
I personaly think getting a dog is a great thing, but you need to be careful and prepared for problems regardless if the dog is a rescue from a shelter or you get as a puppy. Your mileage is going to vary, blah blah.
Here's the score.....
Got 3 kids ages 12, 11 and 7.
Got 2 dogs ages 1 year and 9 months. Golden retriever is 1 year old, a male, and fixed. Chocolate lab is the younger, female and not fixed. The big guy looks fully grown, is nice and mellow around the family and only chews on everything in site. The female is a total spaz with a killer tail that can clear the coffee table in one pass. She jumps around. She digs. She hops in people's laps on the couch. She tries to steal people food. She doesn't bite but she's hell on the shrubs in the yard. She's chewed one down to a stump in only 5 months.
We've had dogs since before the kids were born. We had a Sheltie and a black lab before. The Sheltie died of a heart defect at 11 years old. The kids found him under the trampoline early one morning. It was not a good day. The black lab got cancer and died at just under 10 years old. We had to put him down. That was worse. I had to be the guy who took him out of the house away from my 3 crying kids to be killed essentially. It was the best thing for him. But it still sucked. Maybe the worst day yet as a s@hd, not that being a s@hd had anything to do with it, but someone had to take him and I was the only one who could muster up the guts. That was last March.
Dogs chew. Chew bones are expensive. Dogs eat. Good dog food is expensive but worth it. In the now 13 years of dog ownership, we've spent a grand total of $681 on vet bills for non-shot related visits. Can't understate the importance of a good breeder and good bloodlines. Dogs poop. A LOT. Kids say they'll feed and clean up after them, but they lie. You'll be doing most of it. If you aren't okay with it now, don't get a dog. Don't forget about fencing and unwanted pregnancies if you get a female. Then there's the shedding concerns. My short haired lab sheds more than my long haired golden. If you are a clean freak, don't even think about a dog. And if you like to take long family trips, who will take care of said muttleys while you're away? Dogs are pack animals, and when the pack is away, the one left behind can be VERY destructive if not properly cared for. I won't elaborate but it explains the 2nd dog we got.
But here's the real problem. We love both of our dogs & personally, I hope to always have a dog(s), even after the kids are gone. Sure they are high maintenance, but so are a wife and children. Best advice is do your homework on the possible breed, realistically evaluate your lifestyle and ask if a dog would truly fit within it, set parameters for ALL members of the family but don't expect them to hold for long, and finally decide for yourself if you want to care for a dog personally. Because, chances are, you will be doing the lion's share of it. But being the dog person I am, I will also tell you, you'll never love an animal the way you will a dog. They just get to be a part of you in ways you can't imagine. That's why people get dogs, because there is truly nothing like them. Nothing loves you like your dog and it makes them a part of the family. Sure pepper spray is cheaper to buy and own as personal protection, but where's the fun in that? Nobody ever comes to the office talking about the crazy thing their pepper spray did to the neighbors bushes.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
I just wish I could post some pics of Dom and our dogs, we have 4 boxers ranging from 5 yrs to less than a yr, and with all of them he can hop on and ride them like a horse or laydown to take a nap on them, and that happens more often than you would think. i have several of where Dom has climed on top of our youngest Isabella, and taken a nap with her as a pillow. Like someone said above, having dogs are like having kids, especially the young ones, but it also depends on your situation. We live on 5 acres so if they need out i just open the door and out they go. When I was working away from home my wife wanted a dog for company, my mistake was telling her the ony dogs I knew i would like were boxers and bulldogs since i had them both when i was younger. (nothing against other breeds) so over the past years you could say she has been collecting them, but if you train them early and teach them that the kids are above them in the "pack" then they will treat the kids the same as they will you. if they try and pick up one of Doms toys then he comes to me and shows me, i let him get after the dog the same as I would, this teaches them that he's the little boss over them. One last note, I don't care to get dogs from rescue, mainly since you don't know how they were treated before, 3 out of four of ours tho we have taken in from friends that couldn't keep them. the difference here was we knew how they were treated and what, if any issues we would have to work on. our two older girls were never around kids so we weren't sure if they would work out, but with some work and basic training, like I said, Dom can climb up and love on them, lead them around by the collar, nap on them when it hits him. What ever the decision good luck.
Well the right mentality to have when getting a dog is that it will belong to one of the adults. So if your wife wants a running partner than it will be HER dog, sure it will be a family dog, but the biggest mistake most peopled do is trying to get a dog for thire son/daughter who is only 3. Dogs are not buddies thire animals who need to be trained, housbroken and taken care of by a person they see as an alpha figure. Before getting the dog, since it is older I would go into the shelter with my kids and spend some time with him, I would take the time to pull his tail, pinch his paw to see how he would react as well as asking the shelter employes if they have some form of tempermnt test they could administer the canine candidate.
One big thing for my family is our travel schedule.. We often take weekends to the beach, or friends cabins, or to grandparents house where dog would not be welcome. So a dog just isn't very friendly with us being gone so much. I'd hate to have to kennel the dog every weekend for his sake and the sake of our checkbook. Go watch Marley & Me.... that might give you a good idea. Good luck.
We have two dogs and are great for my wife to take on walks, but we do not have the time to give the dogs the attention they need. If you must get a dog, German sheppards are the best for protection and I have read they do great with kids.
I always had dogs growing up, back when everyone knew not to walk on that little strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street and NO ONE would even think of carrying around little swinging bags as they walked their pooches. We're in an odd catch-22 in that, as homeschoolers, we could be with a dog for much of the day, which is undoubtedly good for the dog. But with heaps of debt and one and a quarter incomes, I think it's not the ideal time to add one more mouth, one more medical bill, one more responsibility. Maybe in a few years.
DW suggested a cat.
I don't do cats.
--Tom
Joined: 2006-11-06
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