My wife hasn't necessarily made more than me.. but she's pulled the consistent pay and brought in the benefits.

She pretty much takes it out on me occasionally since I've lost most of my work in the financial services industry due to recent events.  I still bring in almost 75% what she does, the difference is I don't have to do anything to get paid, so she's pissed that I stay home and 'do nothing', and she's out at work 40+ hours a week, even though I'm still paying the bills.

The things that piss women off are different than the logical things that bother us men.  After a little hassle, I took a job that didn't even cover daycare expenses.  It did get me out of the house though, and I did enjoy that for a small bit of time.  After doing that for a few months, we sat down and went over the numbers and she came back around.

I don't know much about your situation, but if she wants you to get out and do something, your probably gonna need to get out and do something, whatever it may be.  Just dont settle for anything.  Look at it as an opportunity either to meet new people, or maybe bring in some extra beer money.

In my situation, I was looking for work for about a year, and while I was doing that and watching our son, I went back to school.  Starting this year I give up looking for work, it's a waste of time and there aren't any opportunities available at the level I was at.  I am, however, focusing on my education, full time.  We put our son in daycare part time, and she's happy as long as I keep working myself to death in school, and trying to get homework done watching our son.

Best of luck to you.

neither is it ridiculous for her to want you to step up and deliver on your promises.  I'm dating myself a bit here but there used to be a commercial on TV back in the 70's talking about the Peace Corps being the "toughest job you'll ever love."  I'm sure for that time in history it was, but now I'd respectfully have to add being a S@HD to that list.  It's tough doing this job, but we all grow to love it which is why we continue to do it.

If she wants you to abandon your duties at home all of a sudden just because your oldest is in school, i'd ask why the younger one suddenly doesn't need to be cared for?  A child starting school is a major milestone and it sounds like your wife may be experiencing some jealousy issues along with the milestone.  She's jealous that you've been there for the last few years and she's realizing what she's been missing with this next big transition in your lives.  This jealousy is now rearing it's ugly head and she is trying to take away your "privileges" of being at home by demanding you work full time.  

"Lucky" for you the economy sucks and finding the right job will be a lengthy process at best, so just be nice and try to include her even more in the daily goings on so she doesn't feel so left out would be my advice.  Nothing is ever as simple as it should be so just accept this is one of those things and work with her as much as you can to alleviate her stress.  She could also be afraid of conditions at work deteriorating and her losing her job so she might be trying to save you from worrying by being proactive without necessarily filling you in on the details so you're both not stressing out.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

"Once I got over the pride of not being the bread winner, it was easy to focus on her."

The wisdom in this comment will be realized later in life as each of us grow old. 

I've heard so many stories of dads on their death beds who said, "I wish I would have spent more time with my kids."

I feel lucky that I will never uttter those words.

My 2nd (and current) stint began because we did the math as Hogan mentioned.  After we paid the nanny, paid for my lunches, gas, etc. we were only clearing about $200/month and gas was barely $2.50/gallon and rising in those days.  I took my motorcycle to work to save money but it was the time in traffic that I felt the most, even on the bike.  So, we looked at our options and decided that since I wasn't happy with my job anyway, that I would come home and replace the nanny.  It actually worked out that we were saving about $80/month after the first few months which was largely due to both of us watching our lunch costs more closely, which was an added bonus.

The reality of the situation is the kids are what matter most as Omahahomedad said so eloquently. Obviously, you and your wife agree that no one is better suited to raising them than their parents so reminding her that she agrees with that stance probably wouldn't hurt if done tactfully.  In the end, time is the only thing you can never get back and you have the greatest opportunity to spend it with your children RIGHT NOW. I did an MLM many moons ago and we used to joke about other people who "worked for a living" saying nobody ever puts on their headstone, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office."  Cat's In The Cradle was a popular song for good reason....it hit close to home for a lot of people.

Enjoy this journey and get your wife some quality time with the kids without you there so she can remember why it is so important that one of you is always there. It might tweak her jealousy of your position a little, but it should also remind her how wonderful having a family can truly be.  You might also thank her for doing what she does and for making it possible for you to be home. Let her know how much it means to you that you have this opportunity.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.