Background: We are 37. My wife and i both work. Her salary is a little higher and all our benefits are through her work. We have two kids, 5 and 7. All of our debt is paid, including house. We can easily live on one income. We are both proffessionals, but she enjoys her work much more than I do..and is much more stable. Problem: Crazy, Busy lifestyle..go..go..go.. Summer and after school daycare issues.(injuries in the past year or so) Questions: We are trying to decide if me staying home would be the best thing. Currently when we get off..we run..run..run, to clean, eat, homework, practice, etc...until we fall down. Weekends are purely for catch up getting ready for the next week. We dont seem to have much quality time to spend with each other or the kids. We were listing some of the possible benefits of me staying home: -Less rushed mornings...currently she is closer so has to drop off and usually picks up kids from daycare, this would be one thing that i could take off of her load. -Summers are an issue, we are currently leaving them with a good daycare, but with so much time at daycare during the summers, and so many kids, there has been a couple of head injuries over the past year...kids getting too rough, and we are looking at changing daycares. If i stayed home, i could have them for the summers. plus allot less $$$ for daycare -Afternoons are crazy...if i were to pick them up, i could have homework done, supper , yard, etc..and possibly baths, etc.. done before she gets home...so we have more time to spend instead our current schedule. -If i were able to get things done during the week, our weekends would be free to make plans and do things together. -Currently we use our vacation to cover days when both school and daycare is closed during the year, which shortens the amount of vacation time we have to spend together... Well, i guess my question is: all these reasons look good on paper, but do you think that this could work? has is worked for you? We just want to have a more relaxed and order life, instead of the crazy worked to death life we have now. Thanks!
Decision?
I'm confused....are you saying you would continue to take them to daycare? If you're a stay at home dad, you are the daycare. Maybe I misunderstood.
BTW...Yes this situation has worked for most of us on this site and is very rewarding. Do some looking into old posts about what problems you will face so you are prepared. It has worked for us for over 9 years and still going strong.
I posted this under another area you asked the same thing, so here it is again.
I think your list of reasons you would stay home sums it up. We started out with us both working, and since I started staying home the stress and quality time together is so much better for all the reasons you mentioned. I get time with the kids all day, while maintaining the household stuff, so when my wife comes home all she has to do is enjoy the kids (and I like to think she enjoys me more too). Sometimes I don't even know what day of the week it is, cause it doesn't matter. That is a good thing.
We both hated the dreaded drop off/pick up from daycare, and now my wife gets home earlier and gets to spend relaxing time with them in the morning instead of us trying to whisk them out the door.
If you can afford to do it, you won't regret it. Neither will she.
I think you should stay home. If your nights and weekends are that busy already, your life will be so much better if you're an AHD. Since your kids are school-age, you'll be able to get errands and shopping done during the week. You'll also be able to pick up your kids after school and be part of their after-school activities or just providing them with a couple unstructured afternoons (or more) at home.
Good luck!
Jim
Your children are only young once and will only be at home for about 18 years. If you can afford to be home, do it. There is no way you can regret it. How lucky are you that you have an opportunity to spend a lot of quality time with your children. Very few get to do it and I think if more families were able to have a parent at home, the world just might be a better place.
After you have stayed home for a while, take a break and come spend a weekend in Omaha with at-home dads from around the country. Lots of great advice, fellowship and fun!
Al 14th Annual At Home Dad Convention www.athomedadconvention.com
" try for the summer"
Thanks for the advise..i think thats what we'll do.
Im going to propose working 1/2 days through the summer(kids already have swimming lessons in the AM)
and see if they will allow...hopefully i wont have to quit!
any and all suggestions welcome.
Taking a good hard look at the realities of your situation. Income, benefits, day care expenses, quality of that care, quality of your life and relationships, etc. If you are as excited (in a positive way) as you seem to be, you'll do fine. You seem to have the priorities all itemized out and it was good to see that you WANT to be there for your kids and your wife, to ease her stress. Like everyone else, I think you should go for it. You're not coming into this with an idealized version of what this job entails and that helps a lot. It's going to be a LOT of work. A lot more than you think initially. But then again, once you get into a bit of a rhythm with it, you should find it's a lot less work if you're organized.
While I do agree that a trial run is best if you can get your job to go along with it, I think DURING SCHOOL is the better way to go. Having the kids home every day, like they would be in the summer, doesn't really give you a chance to ease into it, it's more along the lines of jumping into the deep end your first day. Plus, with the kids in school, you can ease out of working full time too by working while the kids are in school; while you're doing laundry, cleaning and making dinner of course. 
If it's summer time you won't get that few precious hours a day to yourself. Just a thought.
At the end of the day, I always try to remember the old adage I heard forever ago....You never hear anybody lying on their death bed say, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office." Most of us are long-time members of this odd little group within society and the numbers of those of us STAYING here are far greater than those of us heading back into the workplace and that is no coincidence. Hope to continue to see you here. Best of luck to you and your family, whatever you decide.
Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. -- Albert Einstein
Joined: 2009-04-01
Dad Points: 9