That doesn't happen in my house too much. My wife and I are generally on the same page discipline-wise so they rarely get away with anything from either or us. If I may offer a suggestion and forgive me if I am way off base. I bet the last thing your wife wants to do when she gets home is discipline the kids. They sense it like a dog senses fear. She needs to set down the law and not tolerate this behavior. When the kids realize mom means business, they will behave just like they do for you. AND, your wife will get to enjoy her time with them more because they won't be going crazy.

Now, ruining the routine on the weekend, that's another story. I need all the help I can get with that one too, because my wife acts like she owns the house and is the mom or something. How dare she?!

Al 14th Annual At Home Dad Convention www.athomedadconvention.com

I notice that the behavior is different but mine is much younger than yours I think Mr. Dad (7 and a half months).  She does seem a but fussier but I think that's just because she wants to be with Mommy and god knows Mommy wants to be with her.  I have to remind my wife sometimes that our daughter is OUR child and not only hers when she's home.  To be fair though, when my wife is home I try to give the girls significant time together and I try to get as much done as possible without a baby on my hip.  When we're both playing with our daughter is when she's happiest.  Weekends and going out is when it seems like my wife has "custody" and I have to ask to hold our daughter.  She'll (my wife) will give me puppy dog eyes and often respond that "you get to be with her all the time, or you get to feed her almost every meal."

I guess she feels especially bad when I have to tell her what the routine is and ask her to follow it (nap time, etc.). 

I've noticed this also.  My wife walks in the door and everything goes chaotic.  Weekends are crazy, too.  My wife is a pretty great mom, but since they're so crazy when she's around, she often gets frustrated.  "I'm done with them" she'll sometimes say.  That's when I get frustrated because I got them all day every day.  Since the weather has gotten nicer, I have been taking them outside and to parks more.  I think this is helping because they get to blow of some steam and energy.  

My wife and I have a situation where sometimes I'm home all day and sometimes she, home all day. It seems to us that when one or the other of us comes in after a day gone our daughter gets excited and wound up to see whoever was gone. As far as the discipline goes we are on the same page so it seems after the initial excitement wears off that Katherine settles down to somewhat normal.  I try  to give mommy her initial come home time with Katherine and then give her time to unwind and relax with or without Katherine before I fix dinner.  A parent's job is never done but when you work all day you don't want to have to come home to take over the second shift from me.  So gentlemen, give mommy time with the kids if she wants it but make sure to give her quiet time if she needs it.  That's the way I would prefer it if the role was opposite.

It's the same here.

However, it's not only when she gets home from work.  Anytime we try to do something as a family, our four year old son goes bananas.  During the day or when I'm the only one with them they are, for the most part, OK.  Of course we are to blame, because it's a total 'good cop, bad cop' thing we've got going on here.  Me being more of the disciplinarian and her being the golden one.

www.HoorayForSaturday.com

I have a out of control four year old when Mom gets home from work  but she seems to adjust and calm down when my wife is on vacation, after a few days. Then I get a couple hard days when my wife returns to work. I would say it's a way to express there feelings of missing there Mom and it's normal as far as I can see. That's just my way of thinking though.

Regards, Michael