advocate for fathers ancd came up witha bunch of website that seem to offer advice/help for these situations.

One was http://www.themenscenter.com/National/national06.htm

Good luck....

Josh SAHD Since August 2005

Best Wishes and Good Luck.

You can survive this.

Here's the deal.  I've been through one divorce, sans kids.  It was ugly: an old boyfriend of hers came back into town and she had a sudden need to 're-evaluate' her life.  She sat down with me at the beginning of one of my vacation weeks and simply said "I need to change."  Outside of our cash, there was a house, two cars and four dogs involved.

Here's how I got through it:  I chose the 'big three' things that I felt would get me through that mess.  For me, it was my job, the dogs and my car (so that I could get to my job).  The rest did not matter.  Moving on became the challenge.  Getting ready for the time AFTER the divorce became my new goal set.  My ex would pull nasty little stunts to try to 'burn' me, but she was lost in all of the tit-for-tat B.S.

After it was over: I discovered that there were some of the darkest days of my life.  They changed me.  They made me realize that no matter how bad it got, how much I drank, how many hours I worked at the job site; ultimately, I would get back up on my feet and move.

...and then I started getting into shape.  I quit the booze.  I got organized and cleaned out the trash left over from the old marriage.  In short, I allowed myself to turn a corner.  THAT made me realize that even though the marriage was over, my life was NOT.

Your wife may have the clout to get custody.  That can be overruled in time.  You are not in this for the 'big win', there is no 'win'.  Just make sure that you set yourself up to IMPROVE your position whenever and wherever you can, after the divorce is final.  Leave yourself something to work with.

BTW; post divorce, I am now in a new marriage of 9 years, with a 22 month old daughter sleeping in her room as I type this.  Things get bumpy at times, money is tight, time is tighter.  But I survived it.

So can you.

Just put one foot in front of the other.  A new day WILL come.

Ruready60 Hey Man good luck but luck has nothing to do with it. I sold my log splitter to get me a lawyer he cost me 1500 and i did all the leg work. I was a stay at hom dad for 3 years and when she lekt she took everything but ther was one thing she wasnt getting and that was off easy. This woman had it all and wanted even more well i told her good luck. I turned to god and he helped me though it and continues to help me. I watched a lot of Charles Stanley on the computer and tried to firgur things out how i could fix this thing well it wasnt up to me to fix something i didnt break. Well Charles helped me and Joyce Myers just a suggestion they have free tape libraries that just about covers anything going on in your life. I am know 6 months inot my divorce and really wish this hadnt of happened but it did and the one thing you have to realize is that like it was said before this is a new beginning for you not the end. When i went to court i swear I didnt know this woman that i was married to the lies that came out of her mouth was just unreal. But the judges arent no dumbies This is not the place or the time for the mudd slinging and this is what i was told by a many lawyers i talked too. So we didnt tell how she was a terribe person and all this other junk. I got 50 50 as far as my son goes and 250 in chid support and no amilony at this time which i plann to take up when we go for the proerty settelment. Now did i win well like it was said before no one wins but that day god let me know that it was ok to let go of this marrage and that he would see me though this. Up to this point i wasnt sure but god let me know. The crazy thing man i still love my wife but i dont think i like so much anymore. For a marrage to work you also have to like the person your with and i have lost this for this woman. By the way her lawyer cost her $ 5000 and my was $1500 but u see i had god in that court room with me. He showed me that day stick with him that isnt none of those lawyers has what he has and god is truth and nothing but truth so hang in there brother and Check out Charles Stanley