“What do you do?”

“I am the Global Head of Commodities.”

“And what about you?”

“I am a stay at home Dad,” I respond with a perceptible hesitation and wince waiting for their reaction.

That answer always brings about several now predictable responses, from a simple nod and painful silence to the occasional “You’re my hero, I wish my wife would let me do that!”  Generally it is the former and the conversation redirects to my wife and her global job. 

If it is one on one with a guy, then I usually add, “But I used to be a Chief Financial Officer of a company I took public and most recently I have been a financial recruiter.”  Surprisingly, unless they need a new job, silence follows this too.  And generally, they don’t ask questions of whether I like staying home with my son or what it is like being a man in a woman’s world.

On the other hand, some women, like my wife, think it is great and do ask a bunch of questions.  The one I hate is, “would you like to have a play date with our kids?”  I always politely respond with a non-committal “sure.”  Hey, I may be new fashioned when it comes to staying home with Carson, but I am still old fashioned that I don’t hang out with wives and their kids without my wife and their husband.  I distinctly remember in my twenties, that I would never want a stay at home wife who took tennis lessons with some young hunk while I slaved and now I am stuck in that nether world of guilt reconciling my previous position on stay at home parents and being one myself.

In fact, until I met my current wife (yes, there have been others), I never even wanted to be a Dad.  Now I am a stay at home Dad in Wilton, Connecticut.  A very liberal state.  We just moved here from Texas last summer.  Just a tad more conservative state.  I have met one other stay at home Dad since we arrived, which is one more than I met in Texas.  However, Texans seemed to admire my station in life far better than they do up here.  Go figure.

Unlike women, men don’t have the same networks, especially us SAHDs (Stay at Home Dads).  There aren’t SAHD groups, we don’t hang together and parenting magazines barely refer to us.  For four years my wife tried to get me to write a column about my “job.”  Partly because she wants me to do something besides play computer games and watch Nickelodeon all day and we could always use the money.  But mainly because no one is doing it and that makes her mad.  Makes the other SAHD’s wife mad too. 

Sure most of the tips in magazine and newspaper articles apply equally, but they don’t deal with Daddy issues, like how to network with other SAHDs, how to reenter the workforce or even change a diaper.  Heck, I had never babysat or changed a diaper until Carson was born.  I hadn’t even held a baby for fear I might decide I wanted one.  And now after four years, I find it hard to get an interview, much less a job.  And soon my son will attend kindergarten and I will officially become a sacked SAHD.  So I am going to give this a go.  It can’t earn any less and my perfect global head of commodities wife likes it.  Then again it was her idea.  From now on I will call her Princess. 

Some of the topics I will cover include:

TV vs. day care- They both worked for me, but only one worked for Princess.

Perfect Mom/ imperfect Dad-Don’t get me started.

Maintenance Man/Gardener and the SAHD-We still have to be those too. 

Get a job-It’s harder than you think.

CPR for your kid and your marriage

Single Dad’s and SAHDs

Cooking vs. Take Out

House cleaning-Only if Princess says I have to.

I would hope that other SAHDs would write in and we can begin a dialogue on issues that face us.

Dave  aka “Sacked SAHD”

Professional SAHD

(Okay I made that up)

www.sackedsahd.blogspot.com