Sometimes when my wife gets our daughter up in the morning she will ask for daddy. Sometimes when we bring her into our bed for a little snuggle time she wants to snuggle with me and I can see that my wife gets jealous. I try to ecourage her to snuggle, hug, hold hands, etc.... with mommy but she definatively shows a preference towards me. How do other AHD's deal with this?
Child showing preference.
It won't last
Don't sweat it mate, I guarantee it will swing back the other way each time the wind changes/any time you won't give her a biscuit.
Obviously, she's going to come to you for certain things - it will be you she cries for in the night, etc, because you're the one who's always there, but as she gets older, it will even out (especially as she learns to play you off against each other!). But in the meantime, you're doing exactly the right thing - encourage her to go to Mommy, give her a special hug, etc. It's about all you can do.
Fudge a little
If you feel your wife is getting a little jealous, make sure you let her know every day that the baby was saying momma. Involve mom in every meaningful task you can. Say things like, "she doesn't do that for me" (even if she does). Tell yer wife how the baby says momma all day. I try to take our babygirl out to where my wife works at least once a week as well.
Excellent advice
Excellent advice from Babbadoo - I forgot about that. I actually used to pretend that all those early milestones (rolling over, standing up, crawling, first word) hadn't happened, then go 'Aw, shucks! How come he always does those things for you?' when he repeated them for Mommy when she got home. Damn, I'm a good husband. Shame I can never tell her!
I agree
My wife was a little bummed when I left town for a few days with some friends, and our girls kept asking for Daddy every time they were upset, tired, etc... When she told me, I just told her "now you know what I hear all day when you are at work". This is true, when she is gone, they are always asking for Mommy, but if this isn't the case for you, an innocent "fudge of the truth" would not be all big deal.
I also take my girls to meet Mommy at work or for lunch once a week. Again, you can fudge and say the kids are asking to see her, whether they are or not. My wife also does alone time with our girls. Takes them to her parents or a park for example. This lets them bond with her without me around as well as gives me a break.
I also agree this preference for you will change over time. My girls go back and forth on who they prefer. Sometimes in the same day.
Joined: 2009-11-02
Dad Points: 10