I think this is very normal, but I would suggest scheduling time for her to spend with the kids with you not around.  My wife does this all the time.  Simple things like taking them to the Grandparents for the morning, or sometimes I leave for a few hours and she stays with them.  If you are not doing this already, I would give it a try.  This will allow that extra bonding time where your daughter can connect with Mommy.

I understand where you are coming from.  My daughter is almost 2 years and she has a much stronger affinity for me than for her mother.  On the other hand, our son who is almost 10 months has a much stronger affinity for their mother than me, so it really balances out.  For while, their mom felt like our daughter was losing a bond with her, but there are many things that her mom does for her and we know she appreciates it.  They started developing a schedule for bedtime, involving a bath and a book and a little play time.  Sometimes, our daughter will still cling to me but that is mostly because she wants to fight bed time, but this routine really helped shape the bond they have now.  I'd agree with the other comments that time with just the two of them will help, and I would also add that a set schedule with time for the two of them will go a long way to building a strong bond.  Hopefully the schedule contains things for them to do that the daughter will enjoy (like a bath/book/etc), so she will come to associate those fun activities with her mother and anticipate the scheduled time.  This will naturally grow into an appreciation of time available outside of the schedule.

Our daughter will still seek me out if she gets hurt and seems more sensitive to my opinion of her, but over time, her mother has found other ways to reach out to our daughter.  They both enjoy playing with clothes, using lotion, cooking, etc, and her mother always tries to include our daughter, which she loves.

The key is just to take it slow and build up the bond with the time your wife can spare with activities the daughter will enjoy and appreciate, and hopefully similar activites that your wife also enjoyes.  It may take some finessing, but I'm sure over time your wife will come up with many great activities and reflect back on this as a silly worry.  Her daughter loves her more than she could express, maybe reiterating this from time to time could also help boost your wife's morale.  Good luck!

--
Ryan

Daughter = Flower of the Earth
Son = Diety of the Sky
Mother = Light of our Life
Father = Me

Ask your wife for permission to have the kids call and talk with her at work.

I also took my kids to visit their mom for lunch.

Change your daughter's sleeping schedule.

Tip #4 comes from Chris Coby.  A "Mommy Welcome Home" party.  The idea is to help mom feel good and teach the kids how special mom is and that the work she does at the office is also an important contribution to the unique and wonderful at home dad lifestyle we live.

Let me know if you score any "brownie" or as I call them "that-a-boy" points form your wife.

I had to read all of the other responses before I could comment on this one. This is something my wife hasn't had to deal with. What's the old saying, "Write about what you know." ? My wife has been a working mother, since the maternity leave was over.  Our daugher has seemed to to adjust to this well.

We have noticed, she's predisposed to respond differently to each of us. When she's sick (rarely, thank God!) tired, cranky, out-of-sorts for whatever reason, she'll head for Mama's lap first. If Mama's lap isn't around, mine will do. IF I've been in the picture and maintaining the relationship. On the other hand, my wife can scold, yell, shout, fuss and threaten, and my child will just keep misbehaving UNTIL I step up. I can raise my voice once, and she responds completely different to me.  She knows, when I say stop, I mean it. If she doesn't, there'll be unpleasant consequences.

I think, we've done everything that was listed in the suggestions from the other fathers.  I take care of everything that I possibly can that needs attention, during the day while my wife is at work, and my child is in school. That way at the end of the day and on the weekends, they can spend their time bonding. Anytime school is out, we make a lunch date with Mom, if she's available. If we have a celebratory event during the school day, we don't wait for Mom to come home, we'll call her and tell her. My wife will also lay down with our daugher for those last few minutes of every day, before she drifts off to sleep. This has become something my daughter really enjoys. (It sucks for me, but hey, you've gotta do what you've gotta do...)

One other thing that I've done that I didn't see mentioned here, is this. TALK to your almost three year old and tell her how much 'Mommy' likes to be hugged and told "I love you". You'll be surprised how fast they learn to understand these things. I hope some of this helps. I know what you're dealing with. "When Mommy isn't happy, no one is!"

Let us know if/what works ...