Anybody here doing the family bed thing? We do and love it - no one is awake at night for more than a few seconds at a time and my son sleeps from ca. 7 p.m. to 8 a.m. :-D
Family Bed
didn't know there was a name for it.
We slept with our babies in bed for a while. Didn't do it on purpose, it just sort of made sense while she was breastfeeding and our baby was up every hour to eat. I agree, it's awesome! I know all the doctors tell you not to let them sleep in bed with you, but how did our ancestors do it? I mean, early humans didn't have bassinets. I do recommend putting them in a crib before long though. The best day was when our daughter started a bedtime routine and slept in her own crib.
It is also called "co-sleeping"
A lot of old school doctors will certainly tell you not to have your kids in bed with you, but there are more and more who realise just how good it is for both the kids and parents. My son was in his own bed for a while... before we moved to where we are now, he was in a crib with the one side removed, pushed in to our bed (mattresses were the same height, of course). Then when we were packing to move, we cleared out our apartment room by room so that we were living in the main room only for the last week, sleeping on a mattress on the floor. During that time, my son was still in the empty bedroom, in his crib (with both sides on!). It seemed like he slept better alone, so when we moved, we put him in his own room. That was fine for a few months, but it was always kind of a struggle getting him to go to sleep and he would wake up at least once a night and cry (which meant that I had to get up, figure out what was wrong, clam him down, calm myself down, and go back to sleep).
Last summer, we had house guests almost every weekend and then my parents came to visit for a couple weeks. Every time we had visitors, they slept in our son's room and we let our son sleep with us (he was in a real bed then, so we couldn't just move it in to our room). Suddenly, it was easier to get him to sleep at night and he woke up way less (and less traumatically too!). So we decided to let him come back to our bed and let him use his room as a play room. I assume he will want to sleep in his own bed at some point (he does sometimes take a nap there), but there is no rush. It is really cosy and we are all good sleepers. I can understand that those who are light sleepers might not manage it...
Like you say, chefdad, it is natural, it is what our ancestors did. Strange that modern Western medicine would have us believe that the best thing for a baby is to separate it from its parents at night as soon as possible instead of letting it feel safe, cosy, and warm in a family bed.
What about the couch?
Hey Tim E - sleeping is definitely different than being awake, but i do see your point... and as for getting laid: what about the couch, chair, bathroom, kitchen, laundry room...etc. I would go so far as to say that co-sleeping makes the sex life spicier since you can't do it in your bedroom :-D
What about the crotch?
Nope. Won't do it. Too many kicks to the crotch.
Al Watts, Vice-President, Daddyshome, Inc. - The National At-Home Dad Network
Not as bad as I had expected
Before we had kids, I said never. Now we have one infant who sleeps with us all the time, and a 1 1/2 year old who makes her way into our bed everynight. It really isn't so bad, I am glad that we don't have pets though.
The sex thing is tough, but like daddyfever said, alternative locations add a little spice.
I haven't been kicked in the aggies yet, but I get clawed plenty.
Oh Dear
My first response to anyone on this site and it ends up being negative.
Both my wife and I agree that we don't and never did want our children to sleep with us. We belive our room and our bed should be for us. You need a break. You need a sleep. We believe that a child needs to develope its own independent sleep pattern. Sleep is so important to get right that opting for a quick solution of co-sleeping well it it works aghainst them learning to sleeep on their own. This has worked well for our first and is working well most of the time for our seccond, 1 1/2yrs.
Not for Everyone
Hi JKF - just because you have a different opinion about co-sleeping, I wouldn't call it negative. However, considering co-sleeping a "quick solution" that will "work against them" may be a little short sighted. There are plenty of studies that indicate that co-sleeping is beneficial for both parents and children in both the short and long term. That being said, I totally respect those who feel they need to have the bed to themselves. We have a 2 year-old boy and we all love our sleeping arrangements; it is relaxed, cosy, and loving.
My wife invites them
But only when they are having a hard time sleeping or they're sick. Personally I can't sleep when the kids are in bed with us and I agree with Al, much to many kicks. I could look at that in a positive light and say it's good practice for when the boys come around but I don't want to think about that right now.
Bob Boisvert SAHD since 2000 with Jennifer & Sarah (11 years) and Grace (7)
No Way!
My wife and I decided early on we would not let the kids sleep with us in our bed. Like others have said... We see the kids all day, sleep is our one time for a break. I have no clue how anyone fits sex in when the kids are in bed with you every night. Sometimes it is hard (no pun intended) enough to get intimate with kids around and busy schedules. Funny thing too, is our kids now prefer their beds over ours. We have let them crawl in bed with us when we are hoping for a nap on the weekend, but neither can sleep until they go to their own beds.
It doesn't bother me that others sleep with their kids, but it is not for me. Both our kids sleep 10 -12 hours in their own beds, so for us there is no point. In the last few months our oldest (almost 5) started climbing into bed with us about once a week. I admit it is quite a pleasant surprise to wake up to her snuggled up to us. Still, glad it is not all night and not too frequent.
Joined: 2010-02-16
Dad Points: 105