We're attending marriage counseling because my wife has depression. Shes in denial and I dont know if she will continue with the therapy meetings. It is tearing our family apart. We argue all the time when we're in the same room. I dont think I initaiate any of the arguments. I feel like I am reactive to things she says. Does anyone on here have a spouse with depression? How do you deal with it? I grew up with a mom who had severe depression and a dad who was disengaged. I find myself reminded of my childhood with my partner and even though I am there for my daughter in the day (thank God), I dont want her having a disfunctioning mom. Any thoughts would be appreciated. John
Any guys dealing with a partner who has depression?
Be the Marriage Counselor
First find out what is on her mind. Then agree to start making changes where your right and she is right. Two minds disagree. Two minds can agree. You want to work towards agreement with what is best for the children in mind. There is a problem. Beyond a problem is a solution. You can't have a problem without a solution, and you can't have a solution without a problem. Parenting is teamwork. You do this to help the kids. She does that. She does this to take care of the house. You do that. 100% of the time it is teamwork. To make it work it is 100% on both sides. Arguing is a waste of time. Work towards a rational solution instead.
My wife was diagnose with
My wife was diagnose with severe depression 6 months after we ere married, which was very hard on both of us. What helped her the most at that time was some hypnotherapy which included several relaxation techniques, but she also got on zoloft which killer her libido, something that was difficult for a newly wed couple. The depression lessened over time and she was able to get off the meds after a few years. She had a bad relapse during her first prenancy, but she improved 1000% after the birth.
The best thing YOU can do is validate her feelings and let her know that as bad as things may seem, you are there to help her get thru them. If she has a good sense of humor you can really use that to break the ice sometimes. Other things that can really help are getting outside in the sun and some mild exercise. During a severe outbreak, you may have to treat her a bit like a child and hold her close and placate her, but those bouts shouldn't last for very long periods. Sometimes you'll have to be firm with her and let her know that you are there to help, but that you can't and won't do the work for her.
Joined: 2008-12-31
Dad Points: 60