I'm a S.A.H.D. in Alabama, just outside of Montgomery. I came here browsing, here in the south a stay at home dad is pretty uncommon. I've tried to get my kids involved in local "at home" groups for their social benefit, but the moms aren't too keen on male participation. Ah well, can't say I blame them.
My girls are 4 and 1, most days they are awesome, other days I am curious how I keep my sanity.
Hello and I'm glad to be around!
With the moms. Over time, there might be other dads that show up. Or grandparents. To keep your sanity you've got to get out of the house. And then get into a routine. Are there events at the local library? Museum? Any kids events on weekends? Can you listen to talk radio on a headphone at times? Talk radio connects you to other people. AM talk radio. If you get out of the house on a regular basis you will get through it while retaining your sanity.
There are at-home dads out there, even in Alabama! The trick is finding them. Go to our website, www.daddyshome.org, on some advice on starting up your own group and how to find other at-home dads. I have been involved in groups in Kansas City and Omaha and they all started with a guy, like you, wondering if there was anyone else out there. Now these groups are thriving! It can happen for you too, if you take the bull by the horns!
If you need any help, let me know.
Al Vice-President, Daddyshome, Inc. - The National At-Home Dad Network www.daddyshome.org
I've considered a stay at home group for dads, after being a hassle for the mom groups I figured it wouldn't hurt to try. The most difficult part would be to find those other stay at home dads in my situation. I will continue to look though!
I keep my sanity at home by getting in the yard, listening to music with my kids, and playing on the xbox if nothing else is going on. The detachment from the rest of society can really wear a guy thin. I also go to school (taking the summer off though), and work out...P90X when the kids take their naps. Adjusting wasn't easy, but I can honestly say I manage pretty well at this point.
You've got to know what day it is. Today, is Monday, tomorrow is Tuesday, etc. Develop a routine, and break it once in a while during the week. The detachment from society is the concern. You've got to make some friends, or at least acquaintances out in society. Or meeting people at the park. You've got to do it. If you spend all week with your kids, not meet people during the week, not know what day it is, lose detachment with people, you'll start to lose it. At some point you'll realize I don't know what year it is? 2010. Don't know what month it is? June. Don't know what day it is? You can answer that one.
I am so guilty of not getting out and mingling with the world. I have never felt so up-side down and out of place. Now, 18mos into my venture I am realizing just what tnrlex said above. I am now getting out, 2-3 x per day. I take my twins down to the beach, out for am coffee (hey have a begal), we goto "My Gym" (which is very accecpting of dads), I am now looking into purchasing a bike and one of those trailer deals for the girls to ride in.
Personally, I feel the worst part of being an at home dad is the lack of community. Women, walk right to one-another (or it would seem) and they carry on like they have known each other for years. I have tried, but there is usually an awkward / out of place feelings which accompanies our conversation. Maybe it's just me lacking confidence.
Joined: 2010-06-07
Dad Points: 14