Greetings Gentlemen,
My neighbors concern me and I don't know if I should intervene for the kids sake or let it play out.
Family background: They are a family of 5, dad got fired from his job six months ago and calls himself a stay at home dad but is far from it, more like a stay at home bum who has given up. Mom works 12-14 hours a day as a waitress serving Chinese food and it is unlikely she can support a family of 5 on it, then there is a possible health insurance issue, or lack there of. They have multiple dogs, cats and reptiles as pets. Vaccinations up to date? I doubt it!
Supporting evidence: They have had their trash service suspended indicating they are not current with their HOA dues as that is a part of it. Front and back yards are dead and general clutter around the lawns make it unsightly, leading me to believe H2O is turned off, again. They rent and if evicted would have huge landlord inpossed penalties because of upkeep. One daughter, about 5 years old has had all her infant teeth replaced with what looks like carbon gums supporting silver teeth, this happened when the dad was employed and had insurance. She used to be real sweet but since the dad took over she has turned into a real bitch. There is often verbal assaults coming from the windows from the kids followed by a lot of crying. They have three vehicles, only one runs and this leads me to think they drive uninsured. They do not pick up after the outside animals and I hate to think about what the reptile containment looks like.
What to do: Should I notify social services and ask about a child welfare check? What would you do?
Thanks,
Name Withheld
Let it go
If they are not paying their HOA dues at some point they will be evicted. Let everything else go. Mom is working hard to take care of the family. You could discuss the HOA issues with the HOA Administrators, but would talk about the enforcement of rules as a whole, not singling out one family. Everything else would tend to take care on its own.
Tough call
Part of me says that you should first see if there is something you can do to help them and then the part of me that wants to be "safe" says to call somebody. It is a double edged sword. If you try to figure out a way to help and it doesn't go well then you have to call the authorities then they know it was you. I assume that would be no bueno. If you call now you can do it with relative anonymity but getting the government involved rarely helps things. I guess it depends on what the ultimate goal is.
Disclaimer: I cannot say which way is the "right" way and there is no judgement in what I am writing. I also don't know which I would choose. I know which I would like to choose but I know I often times take the easy way out, as a lot of us do.
That being said, if you want to help them then I would suggest talking to your other neighbors, your Church, or any other organization that may be able to help. Put a group together and have a person or persons approach them about helping them get back on their feet. You know, help him find a job, find child care, clean up, maybe find homes for some or all of the pets.
If your goal is to get them gone then call the authorities. Like I said, I know which I would like to choose but wanting to do something and doing it are often times two different things.
Tough call, good luck, you all are in my prayers.
Al
wow, you're messed up
Junior Detective--
They're having some money problems, and stressed out. Kids might be crying for any number of reasons. Maybe they wanted to buy some new toy that is no longer affordable, and now the dad is feeling cruddy because he not only lost his job, but his kids are upset with him for reasons that are out of his control-- oh, and he has a spying neighbor just waiting to drop the cops on him because his lawn is ugly! Just think about how hard the transition to SAHD is for so many people on this site-- now consider your neighbor, who was forced into it unprepared. And that's just the dad's stress. Can you imagine waiting tables at a Chinese restaurant for 14 hours a day? I bet that's pretty stressful too. If that was me, I might not get around to watering my lawn either.
I also love your awesome "detective work". You're a regular freakin' Hardy Boy. They have two vehicles that need repaired, but don't currently have the money to do so? Oh, they're clearly driving uninsured. And that warrants a call to social services? I'm thinking you need to put down the binoculars, start paying more attention to your own kids, and less time peering out your blinds playing Rear Window Jr.
Either go lend a hand, or get a life.
One daughter, about 5
You just called a 5 year old going through some hard times a bitch! I happen to be a SAHD with no $$ a broken van and a wife that works her ass off! trying to keep up with 4 kids and 3 dogs, by my self doesn’t leave much time for anything else including picking up my yard so my jerk off neighbor doesn’t have anything to complain about. What about you? Think you can fill us in on what’s happening in your kid’s school? How bout there friends? What are they watching on TV? Can you tell me more then 5 words in there favorite song? Keep looking out the window, and passing judgment, and I bet it comes back to bite you in the ass. Even my 5 year old knows not to judge a book by its cover. Your an adult should you really need to be told that now? Was your Mom to busy waiting tables while your bum of a Dad did nothing? See it doesn’t feel good to have people glance in your direction and think they know exactly what you’re about now does it?