I need advice and help reconciling some emotions. We have a 2-year-old and another baby on the way in the Summer. To make it work best for our family, my wife and I are considering the SAHD route at that time. Here are some issues. I work as morning radio host, which pays in fun - but not bad when i was single, and a nice supplement to what my wife makes. Still, on paper, it's a no-brainer if someone's staying home, it should be me. My employer, however, wants to me renew a multi-year contract, which allows them to can me at anytime, but could lead to a lawsuit if I leave before 2014, even if it's to be a SAHD. I wanted to be honest with them and tell them why I wasn't signing, needing to keep my options open if SAHD is the path we choose. Right now, it's tough enough with just one child. I get up at 2:45am, have the little girl in the afternoons, the wife gets home at 7pm and by that point, we're both beyond exhausted. I'm willing to make the sacrifice. However, I know when the time comes for me to go back to work, the chances of getting back into morning radio are slim to none. There are only 2 groups in town - and with so many radio folk unemployed, there are probably 50 people waiting for my job as it is. I've tried negotiating part time, different shift, or even a provision in the contract that lets me out to be a SAHD to no avail. When you first become a SAHD, are you so busy that you don't have time to obsess over your next career move for a while? I honestly have no idea what I'll do in five years when both kids are in school. I also worry about the stress that'll be on my wife (basically, "hope you don't get fired - cause no one else is gonna pay me to talk about Lindey Lohan"). Sorry to ramble, but I'm a little shaken after an hour meeting in which I expected to be fired at any minute, just because if I can't make work and home co-exist, I told them I'm choosing home. Thanks for any advice on how you coped with the transition - and if there are any broadcasting folk, what you've done or are doing to apply your skills to different industries.
Help Me Make The Transition, Please!
...if you can TRULY afford it, that is. You said a few things that you might want to think about.
1. This is a 'fun' and 'single mans' job. I'll tell you something: so is being a SAHD. Yep, there is the work element of endless diapers, cleaning, that fact that you'll probably end up doing 'her' jobs as well as 'his' jobs. But you'll also have some benefits as well. As your oldest grows into their third year, you'll find that you have a kid who wants to help out. Someone who you can teach to put away toys, help with little tasks around the house, and who will basically be a play buddy from time to time. Your kids will love you for being with them, and you'll get to teach your children during the most formative period of their lives.
2. You state that you are interested in doing this for the first 5 years. Think of what you can do during that time! Returning to college is an option. Ever think about doing something from home? What about putting a plan together to open your own business? You have FIVE years. Shoot, write that novel! Think about it.
3. From a personal note, I had a 30k (full time) job and my wife's IT job earned waaay more than that. We chose the SAHD route as well. The first 6 months were murder on me. I felt trapped at home, as well as all alone in the world. Then I joined the YMCA (they have a kid care for members). Then my daughter turned one. A sainer daily routine had developed and we started heading out to the library and playground (sure, most of the moms treat us like lepers, but there is usually one or two other guys out there). Nap time = catching up on things (or passing out for 30 minutes). I learned how to regiment my time, stay focused, and channel frustration through positive activities. In short; the first six months will be tough, the first year will be a challenge. If you make it through that, you can make it through ANYTHING.
Don't think about where you are. Think about where you want to be. 
I was in in HR/Recruiting and I have been able to pick up a few part time/contract gigs along the way. Not sure if you can in radio but if you keep networking in your industry it may be a possibility. I also concur with the YMCA deal. I LOVE it! They have free childwatch while you work out. Just be sure to bring them a box of wipes every once in a while to stay in their good graces:) We also joined the Zoo and local Children's Museum/Science Center for places to go. We also go to local parks a lot.
I also put my three in a "day out" program. It was two days a week until this year when they had to go three days a week. That gives me a break and gives me chance to do yard work and really clean the house. I have not regretted the decision to stay at home but it can be isolating if you let it be. I started a blog which helps a lot.
Have fun!
Al
Joined: 2011-01-05
Dad Points: 12