I do like the idea of the "How To Do Hair", as that is one of the things I am not sure of with my daughter as she gets older. I also liked the KCPD being there to talk about safety based on the age of ones children, just wish there would have been afternoon sessions of it as well. I know of a great pychologist for the "Pampering Your Marriage." So let me know on that. Would also love to repeat the Friday Evening "Meet & Greet" at Boulevard as well. Kudos to the planning crew for a great, fun-filled, educational event in 2006.

What do you think about these?

1. Keynote speaker - Someone to get us motivated after lunch. Maybe the psychologist who presented the Depression and Isolation session could do it - I heard that session was awesome!

2. Cooking class

3. House cleaning efficiently - I know there are several books written about this subject

4. Babysitters - how to hire them, what to pay them, make sure your wife drives them home

5. Sports night at the Meet & Greet - everyone wear their favorite sports team apparel

6. If not the Harley Tour, how about:
- World War I museum at Liberty Memorial
- Negro League & American Jazz Museums
- College Basketball Hall of Fame (if open by then)
- Kansas Speedway tour

I think KevH is onto something, though if the sessions are too long, you quickly run out of day.

Maybe a large group activity/discussion as a warm-up/icebreaker before guys move on to breakouts. We sort of did that with breakfast and the welcomes, but there wasn't really a discussion.

Something on cooking would be great, but I think it would have to be a demonstration with little discussion. Most of us do most of our cooking, we are all experts on what we do, and we are likely to all just want to tell everyone about it. We'd send the cooking discussion straight to hell. I would have liked the nutrition presentation to have included a demo or hands-on component instead of slides. I still don't know what ghee is and I am not likely to try it.

I am not sure about the doing hair session -- at first I thought it was a good idea, but I don't know how it would fill an hour or even 45 minutes.

The part about a single issue dominating the session has existed as long as there have been convention discussions. Sometimes the dominant issues have helped others, and sometimes they just annoyed. We have had individuals monopolize multiple sessions with the same issue. It is tough for the moderators/facilitators when that happens.

A few years ago, there was a magician/motivational speaker who talked about goal setting. He did not go over well. The whole 'where will you be in 5 years' thing is impossible to answer when you are a dad in the diaper trenches.

I think the frustration/anger management session is a great idea. I think that becomes more of an issue the longer you have this gig. Early on, you look to connect, then you just want people to leave you alone. lol

I don't want to hear about vasectomies, but I know others do. Putting this out there because I am probably not the only one, so good breakout, not so good whole-group thing.

I'd like to visit the Negro League Baseball Museum.

A marriage session would be good, but you'd need to be careful that the presenter was neither too cliche or too controversial/preachy.

I don't want to hear about cleaning my damn house. The second I start thinking about how messy it's going to be when I get home, my weekend is over.

I agree that a bad motivational speaker is worse than a storytime where your son has the audible "toots", but one of the reoccurring things that I heard in the break-outs was the feeling of not having any time to get stuff done, I was feeling that way about two years ago just before my son was born (bringing me up to three kids). I went back to revisit some of the "productivity" stuff I used to use back in the day, I found it helped me out a lot. I was not thinking about 5 year plans as much as taking some time to plan "What is happening this month/week/day? and what can I do to get ready for it". Thus endith the tearful testimonial.

db

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Denver_Dad/

One way to increase the effectiveness of the speakers, is to change the overall format from "guest speakers" to "panel discussions". Rather than have the speakers give a formal presentation, let's just open up to questions. You can have the moderator prepare a few questions to get the ball rolling if necessary, but this way, we could help focus the speakers in on what we want to hear, rather than have them possibly waste 30 minutes and leave little or no time for Q&A. The moderators could also lay down some rules, like pick your best question to ask, and then give other people a chance to ask their most important question before firing off a second question. Also, the panels could have more than one person on them, e.g., a pediatrician, a nutritionist and a veteran dad.

I would like to have a pediatrician on a panel. Another possibility would be to have a trusts and estates attorney or family law attorney talk about wills and trusts. The simultaneous death of parents, e.g., auto, plane or other accident, happens too frequently, leaving in-laws, siblings and the court system scrambling to figure out what is in the best interest of the kids.

I definitely think the meet and greet at Bully was good. It could go a few more minutes possibly. Perhaps a table of heavier snacks/appetizers would be great.

The best times are always the beer and b.s. sessions. We need to allow for as many of them as possible.

Lots of excellent suggestions...keep em' coming! Expect to see some of them show up next year...

I understand the aversion to a cleaning seminar on our weekend "off", but I like the concept...what about having someone come in from one of the franchise cleaning companines (like Merry Maids) to talk about the orgainzational method they use to clean a house? Might help us be more efficient at one of the necessary evils of our job...

I also really like the JimL's suggestions for older dad breakouts...great ideas.

We're staying tuned to this discussion.

- Andy (for the convention planning crew)

Don't let the health department find out.

I like JimL's suggestion on a warm-up/ice breaker at the "Welcome" portion of the day. Maybe that could be anectodotes about how/why became an at-home dad?

Can I come to your house for dinner Jim L? I cook like the anti-Rachel Ray, "Dinner in an hour and a half and you're gonna hate it!" So some of my suggestions are a tad selfish...

A bad motivational speaker is lame, but a good one is "freaking awesome" (quote from db). I personally know many but they cost $$$ which a sponsor could pick up or we might be able to get the Doc from the Depression & Isolation session for less since he is with UMKC.

Definitely like the legal forum.

And yes, Beer and BS - the more, the better (the more the beer the better the BS)

Not sure how many people may need it however, another subject that is near and dear to my heart is what to do if you wind up in financial straights and collectors are calling and harrassing you. Being a collector, I have learned a lot about the Fair Debt Collections Practices Act and the best way to go about collecting on debts. Not sure how many dads might need this however, I would be willing to share my knowledge to help others out with this embarrassing problem. I also know how to repair one's credit rating as well. Just something I thought I would throw out there and see what others might think.

More great suggestions for '07...we'll put them all in the hopper.

Jim L and others looking for easy meal advice...have you seen the six o'clock scramble? It's a weekly email with 5 dinner recipes that can all be made in 30 minutes or less (usually 20 or less) using mostly fresh ingredients, designed for busy families with kids, and definitely healthy. A bunch of members of the KCDAD group share a group subscription and have found it very helpful. See:

http://www.thescramble.com/

- Andy
(convention organizing crew)

And now they are digging through the trash. This is going great!

12/1/2006 1:10:58 PM

RE: Sunday box
I am currently trying this Sunday Box suggestion out but with a twist.

He’s got a Thomas the Tank Engine train set with what seems like 100’s of pieces I have which I have picked up 1,000’s of time in addition to a fleet of Hot Wheels and other assorted trucks and tractors.

My project toy inventory: I split the Hot Wheels, cars and tracks in thirds and grouped 1/3 with his Thomas set and the other 2 – 1/3’s into their own groups so I have 3 sets of toys which I keep separated.

Our toy scenario before the Sunday box idea:when it was time for him to help me pick up his toys at the end of the day, I told him they are going away the rest of the day if you don’t help me pick them up. His response was Fine, take em away, knowing full well he would get them back again tomorrow; and I was left picking up enough vehicles to populate a small town as he went on to cause destruction someplace else.

My Sunday box idea scenario: I have told him when it’s time to pick up toys at the end of the day that he has to help or the toys are going in the Sunday box and you will get them all back Sunday. This time around I keep 1/3 of the toys till Sunday and the next time he doesn’t help pick up, usually a tomorrow, I keep another 1/3 of the toys and so on till we have no toys populating our living space for the week and you know what will break loose. This way, we have a toy reduction and he still has something to play with, most importantly, I don't have an irate kid with no toys 1/2 the week.

Current status: currently I have his Thomas set and 1/3 of the rest of his toys, in effect 2/3 of his toys out of sight with 2 days to go and I have assorted cars, trucks, tractors and Power Rangers spread out next to his milk crate container. Tonight we have a clubhouse Pajama party with Santa and he knows he has to pick them up before we walk up there and when I tell him this he says “Sunday Box”!
I will give an update tomorrow or Sunday.

I hope this is going to teach him cause and effect, the days of the week, time relationship, pick up his toys and to help; or so I hope!

It might also teach me who is really in charge!
Have a great day!

-MileHiDad
-My Blog
-Disclaimer : Please page down on my profile link.
The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love!

This all seems like a fairly good experiment for you to do with your kids, and it seems to have some success but maybe it should be moved to a different location on this website. Didn't this start as a Suggestions for the 07 Convention Forum?

Anyway, we did something like this, but never gave it a title like "Sunday Box" or anything. Some of the things that went in the box, my son never missed and made purging his things a little bit easier. We don't do the box thing anymore. My kids are better at cleaning up after themselves. Not great, but better.

For breakouts I'd like to see some more meatier sessions - as was seen from "Depression and isolation" thay can go over well. I think a lot of us as AHD's give some much to our children and wives we don't look after ourselves. Maybe some stuff on looking after our health - physical, emotional, spiritual.

The Oakton Men's Day is an incredible "convention" and a great model for this kind of stuff. Here's a couple of sessions that have run for some examples.

GROWING UP WITH ANGER
Jack Dohr. We all grow up with anger and each of us has the ability to deal with it, either constructively or destructively. The presenter will share his experiences working with incarcerated youth (ages 14-18). We’ll discuss the root causes of their anger, the impact it has on their lives, and the options available for dealing with anger in positive ways.

STEPPING INTO THE FIRE: COUPLES RESOLVING CONFLICT
Gail Canning and Gary Shunk. When in conflict, you want to be seen, heard, and validated. So does your partner. Join us to develop your skills in resolving conflict successfully.

MEN AND PLAY
Dick Levon. Play is vital to our overall health and happiness. Why is play so misunderstood and even viewed as a trivial waste of time? This experiential session explores our need to play, the multifaceted nature of play, and the value and benefit it could have in our lives.

FATHERING: EVERYMAN’S WALK
Joseph Kilikevice. How will our sons take their place in fathering other men? Whether marked by healthy mentoring or abandonment and abuse, fathers and sons live their lives within a unique relationship.

Tim: great suggestions, and no need to apologize for the media/researchers rant! I'm really glad to see you've joined our conversations here at athomedad.org...

We will definitely make an effort to have more of the type of sessions you talk about, as well as more sessions geared towards Dads of older kids. I can't promise we'll be able to bring down the folks from the Oakton Men's Day, or that we'll even be able to bring back the "Isolation and Depression" speaker, but we'll see what we can find locally. The UMKC Women's Center was helpful this year, and can hopefully help us find "meatier" speakers for next year.

As for other "Dad" speakers, Hogan was invited to speak this year, but had a conflicting committment that prevented him from attending...we (and he) hope he'll join us in 2007.

I'm very intrigued by the Sat. evening activity idea. Bowling would be pretty easy to organize, and shouldn't be cost-prohibitive. I'm curious to hear what others think about that. I know I was pretty beat by Sat. evening, and I was actually very content to hang in the hospitality suite and b.s. with people, but an "active" activity could be a blast.

Suggestions noted! Keep 'em coming, gents...

- Andy

__________________________________________________________
Andy Ferguson
www.athomedadconvention.com
groups.yahoo.com/group/kcdad/