Something big is coming boys, something huge. It will blow your mind. You may have heard about it, but you may have not. Either way, it will rock the SAHD world. This could be the most improtant event of your career as a stay at home dad. When people ask you where you were, you will know for the rest of your life.
There is a royal wedding on Friday morning, sometime before the crack of dawn and well after most of us will be asleep.
However, many of our wives will not be.
Now, how exactly is this important to the SAHD? For the majority of us, we may not have realized that a wedding was taking place this week. After all, we may have been only vaguely aware of our own wedding. We knew we got to have sex that night and that was pretty much awesome and why we made sure we showed up. I jest ladies, please don’t send me hate mail.
And let’s be honest, watching and/or even going to weddings of people we don’t know is usually not high on our list. It’s somewhere above cleaning the basement but well below nachos. But that’s not what’s important about this, not even close.
What matters is that something like this may be important to your wife and there is the hook for the sahd and how he gets brought into this royal melee of gowns, royality and proper eating etiquite.
Let me explain something to you guys. Ask your wife about Princess Diana’s wedding. Chances are she will regal you with a story about 2 hours long and talks about dresses alot. She will tell you all about the gossip of the queen mum and someone named Camela Parker will probably pop up later on. But the point is that she knows all about it like you know about the Green Bay packers of the 1960s. Trust me on this one. Ask her about the style of the dress Diana wore and she’ll know it. Of course, she’ll have no idea about who played in the Ice Bowl. But you will know and that’s what’s important.
Back to the story here. Chances are this will be important to her and therefore it becomes important to you. Let’s realize what your wife has given up to allow us to create that special bond with the kids. She works, sometimes late. She pays the bills. She doesn’t get to see the “first” of a whole lot of things. She sometimes has to travel and sleep in swank hotels and eat steak and have people wait on her. That part seems awesome, but don’t let it fool you. Mom misses the kids and sometimes it’s important to let her know how much we appreciate what she does for us. Creating a memory for her and maybe your daughter that they can own together is how we do that.
AND that’s why this is important to the SAHD. We have many special stories. I remember the first time my daughter used a nail gun and it brings a tear to my eye. And she knows who played in the Ice Bowl. Your wife may be missing some of her own special bonding stories.
The wife watching this wedding, hopefully some of it with the kids, will recreate her own special memory of her watching it with her mother. My wife has told me this story a dozen times during our marriage. Not once have I actually asked about it so that should show you the power that this memory has. She knows who was wearing what, she knew the gossip and she marveled at the majisty of it all. That’s the memory that we want to recreate and hopefully our own daughters will talk about this very same thing years from now to thier own very bored husband who can’t understand why he just can’t watch the last 2 minutes of overtime.
So I’m going to help you out a little bit here to make this a special memory for her. Follow these steps and you’ll come out smelling like Bart Starr going over the top on 3rd and goal with 16 seconds left.
1. The people getting married are named Kate and William. You should probably know this.
2 A bathroom in England is called a “loo” and and elevator is called a “lift” It makes no sense but just roll with it.
3. TV coverage will begin on 4/29 at 3:00 am. Balls that’s early but that’s what the TV guide says. Even knowing this should impress your wife.
4. No one actually knows what Kate’s wedding gown looks like. Drop this little tid bit and you will be considered a god.
5. Posh Spice will also be at the wedding.
6. They will be getting married at the Westminster Abby. I don’t know why and I don’t care to know why. All I know is that this will score some major points with the wife.
7. The happy couple will be transported in the same carriage that Princess Diana and Charles were in after thier own wedding. Boom, you are now in husband gold territory.
8. Do not, under no circumstances, serve your wife beer and nachos during this event. Make mimosas and have some dainty appetizer thing that she can eat with her delicate hands.
9. You can send a congratulations to the happy couple on Twitter by using #rw2011. Do that with your wife and you are so getting that new chainsaw you wanted.
10. If you wife is getting up at 3:30 am like one of those die hard nutjobs, do not call her a die hard nut job in any blog that you write. Just make sure the Tivo is set and you are well out of the way.
There you go boys, don’t miss this chance to do something special for the person that allowed us to do this very special thing that we do. And if you falter and you will, always remember this: Follow Krammer through the middle for a touchdown.