Full of vim and vigor.
Bursting at the seams.
Just waiting to get out there. Show off for your friends. Impress the girls. Scare your parents.
You just got your drivers license.
You get in the car. Fasten your seat belt. Wave to your mother. Promise to be home at 9pm. ( 10pm )
Check your mirrors. Then carefully pull out of the driveway. Smile and wave again as you pull away.
Watch in the mirrors until you turn the corner at the end of the block. Parents are now home. You are free.
The accelerator gets smashed to the floor. Old Mrs. Windham dives for cover. Little Timmy’s soccer ball will never score again. But that’s only the beginning. As you pull into the 7-11 and buy the biggest Slurpee that will fit in your cup-holder. You peel out of the parking lot to your friend’s house.
Where you calmly tell his mother that you will have him home by 9:30. That the movie is rated PG. There will be no girls there. And he reminds his mother that he needs money for the movie.
You drive like a lunatic up and down the strip showing off your new ride. While your friend hangs out the window. You buy as much candy as you can carry. Sneak in the back door to the R-rated movie that just came out. Then try to get to second base with the girls you met there. Then make it home before your mom sends out a search party for you. Yup. Grounded. Not the last time.
A few speeding tickets later and maybe a small fender bender. That takes care of High School.
College is a little different. There’s one of two ways to go. You could be the responsible one. Being the DD at parties. Going to bed early. Driving a little fast, but not taking too many chances.
OR…… You have to turn your keys over when you walk in the door. The next morning you make it home, but that’s not your car in the driveway. You find your car in the bushes at the local McDonald’s. You try not to get pulled over for a DWI while driving to class in the morning. Your parents refuse to pay for your insurance anymore. Or the tickets that caused it to go up.
Now you get married. You have someone else in the car with you now.
She will hold her breath when you go around corners too fast. Stomp her foot on the floor when you get too close to the guy in front of you. Your driving gets a little better. Just one ticket.
Thank goodness she wasn’t in the car when it happened.
You decide to have kids. Now there is another person in the car. She looks like your wife. She smiles when you talk to her. Giggles when you tickle her chin. Your shoulder is her favorite place to sleep. You have to check on her five times before you go to bed.
You find yourself driving the speed limit. Or under. It actually takes you more than 5 minutes to get out of your street. You curse the guy who just flew by on the shoulder. Laughing when he gets pulled over.
Yelling when the bass in the car next to you is rattling your windows.
Driving one-handed means she dropped her pacifier. Looking behind you means she was crying.
The cooler riding shotgun has been replaced by a bag of diapers and wipes. The bottle of beer is now a bottle of warm milk.
The Evolution of a Daddy’s Driving Does not end there.
Just think how much fun it will be to smash the accelerator to the floor. Drive at just over the speed limit. Buy the biggest Slurpee that will fit in the car. Get all the candy you can carry. Buy two tickets for the new PG13 Movie. Sit there with your friend.
And be the coolest Grandpa ever.