This post originally appeared appeared on Chad’s personal blog Go Ask Your Mother. It is reprinted here with permission.
It is the last week of school. In my normal routine I wake up about 5am, and before I start making lunches I wake up by going through my email and skimming the Facebook.
And this list is nothing, if not predictable. You can read the entire list but they include things like taking care of injuries, bathing your child (because the author dad, when left to his own devices cannot remember) and of corse cooking. Yes, he blames all of his parenting inability on the fact that he has a penis. Despite the fact that their are men doctors and some of the greatest chefs in the world are men. His penis gets in the way of performing these most basic task.
Then, as they shared about, I went to the Babble Facebook pagewhere they are pimping the article. They have a post that says:
“Finish this sentence. The one thing that mothers do better than fathers is ___________. (Then see what this dad said!)”
And the responses are typical.
“Change poopy diapers”
“Lol listing off things men CAN’T do doesn’t count!”
“I can’t stop laughing long enough to fill in that blank. One thing? Really? hahahahahaha”
“Everything” is a common one.
And through all the dad bashing one comment from JT Coonfield stood out to me.
“Yes Candace. Omg, when we were getting ready to go somewhere my husband sd he would fix our daughters hair. Well he was all proud and asked me to come look. I never laughed so hard in my life!!!”
Let’s set the stage here. They are getting ready to go somewhere. The dad says he will take care of the daughters hair. Likely this dad didn’t grow up doing little girls hair. I’m guessing he isn’t an experienced hair designer and didn’t take the class on styling little girl’s hair at the At-Home Dads Convention. This may have in fact been the first time he has ever attempted to style a little girls hair.
And when he is done. Proud at what he has accomplished. What is the mother’s response. To laugh hysterically (I mean she used three fucking exclamation points it was so funny.) How many things do you think this father now wants to related to his own child that he is not an expert in because he know what his wife response will be.
Imagine your kids come home with their first painting from school and your response was not to congratulate them and hang it on the refrigerator, but was to laugh hysterically at what a poor attempt at art that was.
And no, I am not saying that men are little kids that need to be coddled. I am saying anyone attempting something they are new at, when the response from people they care about is to laugh and make fun of them, are not going to be encouraged to keep trying.
And I imagine in this household that the next time the family is getting ready the mom is going to complain that the husband isn’t helping out. “Why don’t you ever help get our daughter ready?” The answer is found in your laughter.
And this is where I say to the ladies, you cannot have it both ways. If you want to live in a world where mommy knows best and you belittle your husband when he does help out. You can feel powerful and like you posses powers that your husband never will. Congratulations.
But then stop bitching about how your husband never helps out. How he is like having a another child.
You can’t have it both ways.