It has been implied that the life of a stay at home day is not very traditional.  That we have bucked the society norms and shunned our responsibility.  It hasn’t been so much as implied as out right said.  Man do I love being judged.

But today I bring a different theory to the table.  A theory that I have been allowed to develop because I have a different perspective on life and also because I need stuff to think about while we watch the same freaking episode of Scooby Doo for the 50th time.  Seriously kids, would it kill you to broaden your horizon just a tad?  There is a Star Trek marathon on later today, perhaps we can explore those themes for a while rather than watching a dog solve mysteries and eat food.  Yes, it’s funny but so is the shenanigans that Captain Kirk plays on the Klingon Empire.  Help a brother out.

Back to the theory and my point

I submit, that the role of a stay at home dad, is the traditional role.  It’s more traditional than current society is.  In fact, I would say that it is society that has broken traditions and abandoned the norms of the past.  I judge you!

It’s simple.  The life that my wife and I lead is the most traditional role there is.  We have hearkened back to a time of the hunter/gather society.  The role that we all originally started with and the role that somehow modern times has left behind.  Stay with me here, this gets good.

My wife GATHERS money.  That’s right, she gathers it. She does not hunt it, she does not kill and gut  it.  She gathers it from the fertile farmlands known as corporate America.  She goes to an office every day and spends 8 to 12 hours harvesting it.

And what do you do to create more money?  You plant “money seeds” if you will to make your investments “grow”.  And on occasion, if the money is dirty, one must learn to how to “clean” it through a process called “laundering” which sounds an awful lot like laundry.

There are no bears to fight, there are no other clans to destroy.  My wife just needs to tend her money field so that that family can eat and fix our roof.  Twice a month her “money tree” will be ready to pick and the family eats.

But what do they eat?  They eat the things, that as a man, I hunt down.  That slab of meat just doesn’t just magically appear on a plate.  I had to go hunt the best deals to be able to afford that meat.  And on occasion, that meat comes with a baked potato that I speared from 10 miles away using my weapons of Internet coupons.

And if you have ever been to the grocery store, then you will know that this next part is true.  It’s is Armageddon there.   People “competing” for the best deals while trying to screw everyone else over.  It’s survival of the fittest which explains why I always come home with the slabs of the best meat.  Try going to the grocery store on the weekend and tell me it’s not Thunderdome there.

The kids that I am raising?  I’m not raising them at all.  They are my apprentices, just like black smiths used to have.  You had a child and eventually you just gave that child up to some guy, almost always a guy, to teach them a skill like bending metal or being a squire.  That’s what we have done, I have two squires that carry my crap and wreak havoc and destruction where ever we go.  In fact, we are practically an army leaving destruction in our wake and eating all the resources that the land has provided.  We leave a desolate, lonely dessert when we leave.

Don’t believe me?  Invite us over for playgroup and then tell me that it wasn’t the most total awesome destruction that you have ever seen.  It will take you weeks to repair the damage that my army and I have done.

You want traditional, I give you traditional.  We have gone back to the days of the hunter/gatherer ociety.  The most traditional traditions that our species has.

But on occasion the kids and I are forced to take naps.

Much like the mighty lion while his women bring him food.